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Sep 06, 2011
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Cold(Olympic Pool)
The touch that I once longed for
Now repulses
Lips once warm and sweet
Have turned calloused and cold
Little innuendos
now chafe and bite
Give them to another
For I no longer can
bear the thought of you
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 9 months ago
Wow, Chrys,
absolutely COLD! You could freeze water on it and make ice cubes! I love it and wouldn't change a word.
always, Cat
raj
13 years 9 months ago
Chrys
nicely done...precise and yet effective..
Kailashana2
13 years 9 months ago
Hi Chrys, hope you're mending
Hi Chrys, hope you're mending well, and Lonnie's waiting on you hand and foot.
I don't know if I'm off target here, but if this were my poem, I'd change the last stanza,
to read:
Give them to another;
I no longer
bear the thought of you.
For me it's more precise. Good poem conveying the icy stare.
~A
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Brrrrrr
Very chilly remind me not to get on your bad side LOL!!!!
Filled with ice cold hate, I personally wouldn't change a thing about it.
Lou