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O

climb the dark


lean back and swallow
the talent you your soul
tilting
the cool wash of drink
fed ice
your fingers on the glass
 
wind leans against the glass
streaks its tears like swift
wingless dreams falling
the tender perusal of words
kissed like opening chapters
I give you

expensive lyrical taste
drywash of your thighs
rounded knees
the heels toes
arched ridges
salted curved
toe rings shinning
anklet loose

rum and cola
sweet body tastes
quickening in our heat
 
hot blood thumping
in articulated veins
the bed unruffled
a small light on
espidrils laying lonely
at the foot of the bed

expensive coral
lingerie

the night out
we climb the dark
swirling in the winds
our passions mixing
hot vapour trails
dancing in ultraviolet
collisions

— orgami, Jan 29, 2009

Critiques

O

originalstyle

17 years 4 months ago

i really like your last

i really like your last stanza be curious to have your thoughts on my work...when you get a chance peace james
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

17 years 4 months ago

Climb the Dark

Steve What can I say? but WoW You take me on a journey of intense emotions and anticipation. I love the way you gently lead us on this journey building up to the climax With words of elloquence and desire you describe the wonders of being alive. I long to feel like this, maybe someday! Electricblue
W

W.C.Wampler

17 years 4 months ago

Climb The Dark poem

ORG., A hot and tenderly sensuous poem. I do have a question though. I have BIG dictionaries, but did not find "espidrils". Help me out here would you. I'll learn a word. wcw
deelilah

deelilah

17 years 4 months ago

Hello Oragami

You write with great sensuality and metaphor. I love the line: 'wind leans against the glass streaks its tears like swift wingless dreams falling'. At the same time you give little pieces of reality like: 'rum and cola' or 'expensive coral lingerie'. Sexual material usually makes me uncomfortable--but this does not. It is beautiful. Thank you. Deelilah
B

bunnymug

17 years 4 months ago

Hmmpf.

Espadrille...a light canvas shoe with a braided fibre sole (Cdn Oxford Dictionary) Very European. Strapless, slip-on high heel, eh? Try "wedge" or "mule", maybe.
O

orgami

17 years 4 months ago

Okay!!!!

I stand, (or favourably kneel) corrected! thank you! girlfreind long ago had shoes and tried to educate the then unwashed bushman that I was and still am to heart dressed me too to some degree "Wedge" I had completely forgotten about that I love them love Wedges my weakness amongst all weaknesses mules makes me weak in the knees that word sad but fun well thank You BunnyMug for this

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