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Sep 14, 2011
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Acrid Mist writing with emotion workshop
You have what I want
Tiny bites nip at my
Self control.
I need what you have
An ache cramps
My back.
Give it to me
Got have it,
It’s not yours.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
13 years 9 months ago
Lou
this poem can be perceived as one expressing "desire" but that is not listed in the workshop on emotions is it?...may be i perceived it in correctly....but i liked the mysterious factor in this...
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Raj
Thank you I'll wait for some more input, before I change anything
Lou
raj
13 years 9 months ago
Lou
please don't get me wrong..i didn't mean to suggest that you need to change anything...
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Raj
don't worry i'm not offended. The idea is to change things .
Lou
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Hehe
I'm always missing stuff out..
Lou
Candlewitch
13 years 9 months ago
Dear Lou,
I'm impressed! You have expressed a couple of emotions with so few words!
always, Cat