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Sep 14, 2011
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Acrid Mist writing with emotion workshop
You have what I want
Tiny bites nip at my
Self control.
I need what you have
An ache cramps
My back.
Give it to me
Got have it,
It’s not yours.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
14 years ago
Lou
this poem can be perceived as one expressing "desire" but that is not listed in the workshop on emotions is it?...may be i perceived it in correctly....but i liked the mysterious factor in this...
lou
14 years ago
Raj
Thank you I'll wait for some more input, before I change anything
Lou
raj
14 years ago
Lou
please don't get me wrong..i didn't mean to suggest that you need to change anything...
lou
14 years ago
Raj
don't worry i'm not offended. The idea is to change things .
Lou
lou
14 years ago
Hehe
I'm always missing stuff out..
Lou
Candlewitch
14 years ago
Dear Lou,
I'm impressed! You have expressed a couple of emotions with so few words!
always, Cat