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barbsdad2003
Mar 21, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

oh, shoot!


oh, shoot! (senryu)

---

the first day of spring
is one thing, and
the first spring day
is another.
                                  ---Van Dyke
---

a tiny shoot of
green wild onion sprouts early;
I ask, "Are you lost?"
— barbsdad2003, Mar 21, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

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Arrow

17 years 2 months ago

Yes, isn't that the way!

Rather than be delighted when something delightful appears outside of normal time or place, we focus on how wrong it is that it should be there.
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barbsdad2003

17 years 2 months ago

Expectations ...

ultimately needlessly stress the hell out of us. Maybe that's why we indulge ourselves so much in them. To be out of the appreciative moment seems to be the way of humans. At least adults. At least in general. You got it so nicely. Thanx, Chuck PS: On the other hand, my intent in writing this was to gain a chuck(le) or two. Either way of taking it's OK by me, though.
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 2 months ago

Exquisite! Thank you,

Exquisite! Thank you, Chuck. it's one of those small delicate poems that takes me everywhere simultaneously... ~A "We have to try to get rid of the notion of time. And when you have an intense contact of love with nature or another human being, like a spark, then you understand that there is no time and that everything is eternal." Paulo Coelho
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 2 months ago

Chuck,

again, a perfect little Japanese piece by you! And you are a master of surprising last lines. I love this ending, it evokes the image of the single shoot perfectly, and also all that feeling of hope and expectation the first little spot of green causes. Yours, ~Nina
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 2 months ago

oh, shoot!

All I have to say Chuck is: "Perfect" ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
deelilah

deelilah

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Chuck

Yeah, shoot. The buds are out in California, There's a blizzard and 55 mph winds in Wyoming, storm catching up with us here in Minnesota. Hope I see that onion shoot on my way by Michigan tomorrow. Deelilah
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barbsdad2003

17 years 2 months ago

Thanx much

Your comments much appreciated. Sorry I'm here less of the time recently. Winter schedule's still in force. When morning indoor volleyball's made way to early parks' summer sand, I'll contribute more time (and effort) here. Thanx, Chuck

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