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O

underneath



walked under the still breath of night
the frozen image of light playing pretty
in the atmosphere

an illusion
its just a light game of an event of a
horizon long changed and distant

save the birth of Novas
the angry glare of Super Novas
the distant and near comets
the dusty plume of Pleides shower

up beyond the little wires
our rooftops
our towers shackled to the
ground

dark as the Tower of Mercury
in the cat lined moon nights of
Pompei today

floating over all
the vision
of change

inextolorably slow
beyond wisdom
language
touch

we dance like them
hovering on our days
in our importance

and if there is a Heaven
from this land of peace
and hells

I want to shine a vision
like my face from
that wishing well

— orgami, Apr 12, 2009

Critiques

Seren

Seren

17 years 2 months ago

Wow

When I started reading this I got goosebumps , could feel what you where talking about and see it !!! So if that was your intention well done if not ... bloody awesome poem anyway LOL ...and five from me Love and light JayC
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 2 months ago

Oh Oh Oh!

You do take us to the depths and heights of this universe and leave us hovering in the vapours of the past, yet here in the present, experienced. Your face is reflected in the wishing well, shining like a vision on the face of all who read this poem Orgami, with a smile of blissful understanding. Ann of Norway
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 2 months ago

Chills...

there you go again, having me floating out there, here, and beyond... another five star poem sir! Richard
phoenixflame

phoenixflame

17 years 2 months ago

HIPPIE BROTHER! How goes it?

Wow, this is a very deep poem, one of those kinds where you want to stop what you're doing and just read. Let the feeling of the poem just enshroud you, and when you get to the end, like what ever you felt during the poem was pacified. Lol one of those mind-blowing poems. REALLY GOOD!!! LOL! Your hippie sis, Phoenix.
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 2 months ago

Steven

"dark as the Tower of Mercury in the cat lined moon nights of Pompei today" - What an image! You never cease to amaze me, my friend. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Just because you have one, doesn't mean you need to be one..." Doin' a March of Dimes walk 4/26 : http://www.marchforbabies.org/jnj7880
B

Bell

17 years 2 months ago

Language

If the this could tap into true meaning of self Atman look and low come breath in this night with sight of gone where sore words of this and that mean what not to be said in joys, raptures of scripture by Augustine we need not this interpretation by pseudo prophets of the sun shine throw, cast off empty messages that can be redeemed through empty hands feel though lucid dreams guide where we meet where we began and have forgotten (I feel that you see things through feeling rather than words but know how to use language in a way to capture what cannot be said. Wonderful all the way!)
O

orgami

17 years 2 months ago

the skin of colour

I like how you use Word feeling language capture the mind taking in the sounds sifted what is to be said I write so my write is like my write Walking home from downtown an old street with trees spaced streetlights and above this city we can see stars stopped to look up and thought about poems read here about how time is not timeless how we are materials of the sky chemical compounds rendered this gift of life animating us for so short short years we look up pondering what shines down and a poem becomes written such the granduer of the great creative soul the one of many gifts we harbour on our island so significant and small

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