Ungranted Wishes

The day of her birth
today
Her most special day
aren't all her wishes
to be granted?
Sorry
I was preoccupied
with my own life
own fun
own moment
In retrospect
perhaps intentionally
For you rarely
grant my wishes
Perhaps today
you can see
that others wish to be
at the forefront
just like you
on your most special day

— poet1, Jun 09, 2009

Critiques

themoonman

17 years ago

Corina...

Welcome to the site... your poem, while written pretty well doesn't include the reader, and by that I mean I didn't know who "she" was, could be you left it vague on purpose, and sometimes that works... but I thought in this particular write, her identity was detrimental to understanding the depth... of course, it may be I just didn't see it, but I read it twice... but sometimes that doesn't mean anything, I have missed much and if I'm lucky, will live to miss a whole lot more... in any case, I enjoyed the read and welcome you again... Richard

poet1

17 years ago

Richard, Thanks for the

Richard, Thanks for the feedback. It was really just a rant about my best friend. I think you are correct that I left it vague intentionally. It is out of my general context, I usually attempt to rhyme. Have a great day! Corina

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in