well this poem dosent really have a title

I think this is a good piece, it only need to be gone through carefully, i don't think mixing the language use is a good idea, rather write all in english or the other language. We're all here not english people, so inorder to communicate, share and adress our ideas with others, we mainly use English. Hope you'll understand what i'm saying Abi, but really i love your poem. Love n light

Hi Abi, do you mind if I go through this & help work with your English, I would hope you might do the same for me in Spanish porque mi español es terrible! Espero que ayudarán corregirlo para mí si usted tiene tiempo y vea cualquier problema. It is a sad condition you write of, a difficult thing, I hope you recover quickly from such awful circumstances. Unlike our lovely friend above, I quite like the mixing of language, it challenges us, I am looking forward to translating it, but we all feel differently & no one is right or wrong. "I will never forget and I will never fo(r)get that day as you kissed me slowly on my lips and grab(b)ed me slowly from my hips I grab(b)ed you from your hair (maybe "I grabbed your hair... or even a different term might serve you better here?... eg In my passion, I grasped your hair) in that very special moment we both shair (share) desde el dia que te conosi (from the day that you ?) i knew we wer(e) men (meant) to be together forever But i did’nt know forever would be (in... you could do without this word in this context) just one week i(I) thought you were the one I long seeked (grammar says 'sought', in past tense of 'seek' English... just a thought... you could change this to - You are not, in truth, the one I seek- this would maintain the rhyme? Changes the sentiment a bit I know) as I sit here staring (at) a rose - bright red (don't need this - as) I think of all those special moments in your bed and how I got missled (mislead) all because you beli(e)ved a lie we had to say goodbye now I just sit here and cry because I illusinated (not really a word in English - hallucinated, maybe?) up 2 to the sky - (you might be better trying a new line here.. eg I got caught in an illusion and I don't know why... or - I believed in an illusion as pretty as the sky... or - I believed an illusion as vast as the sky - or I deluded myself and didn't ask why... just some alternatives) then you drop(p)ed me (me - delete 2nd me) and now I slowly die. My lover says Spanish is such a passionate language & naturally more romantic than English, so to try to write in a similar way in English is much harder, what sounds right in Spanish is missing something in English, you have to work harder for the same effect I think. I wonder how you would go, just writing without trying to have it rhyme, I feel that sometimes can hold poets back at first... but it is your choice, just putting it out there. Tenga cuidado de Abi, & sólo mantener escribiendo mucho (y permanecer lejos de los hombres que sólo le desean para su propios lujurioso gratificación, usted valen más que eso!) Oh & I think you should choose a title ... anything... "First heart break" -? doesn't (not dosent) have a title might even become "Untitled poem"... it's a tricky language English as a 2nd language. Hope this is useful... keep working on them. Cheers Anni~ "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves". Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)