poewriter58

Jun 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Swimming Ducks

The robins walked with purple umbrellas
which the squirrels were trying to steal
the hawk flew overhead and thought
"my what a tasty meal"
as the ducks swam across the lawn

Treading carefully
over the worm strewn walk
could have sworn I heard those worms talk
said they were not built to swim
now they are without,
but would rather be within

Flowers were toweling their little faces
wishing they were in different places
hoping that such thin legs will hold

Trees shook off rain
at those passing by
but oops, they just got that bunny in the eye
wave after wave of endless rain
canal is swollen and feeling the strain

Clouds looking as though they are going to win
things are so bad
the sun cannot manage a grin
sky is turning an embarrassed pink
and the ducks still swim on the lawn

— poewriter58, Jun 26, 2009

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Hey Chrys

I enjoyed reading this fanciful piece of yours. Please send us some of your rain we are in a drought and the duck pond in the neighborhood is drying up. Love, Cat

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Cat

Thanks. If I could I would send some of this to all that need it as we are in for storms this afternoon straight through Thursday Chrys

Kailashana

16 years 11 months ago

Oh……………..Chris,

Oh.................Chris, this is adorable, charming, sunny, lovable and just plain delightful!!!! Thank you ever so much. ~A p.s. quack quack! p.p.s. I remember a few years back it was 38 days of non-stop rain, either torrents or drizzles, mostly torrents. Wondered if I should build an ark. "There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." Anais Nin

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Thank You

We are still getting rained on lol. thanks for stoppoing by Chrys

Geezer

16 years 11 months ago

Let us gather up...

Let us gather up all the excess rain we have and send it to those places that need it! What a wonderful idea! We also have too much here, so I will get some ducks,and tie buckets of rain to their legs. Maybe we can get them to fly to Rett and Candlewitch. So glad to see someone has still a little humour left. I think the rain has eroded away most of the humour around here. Great work, Poe. you managed to brighten my day!Gee.

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Gee

Thank you so much for reading this. As I just told The Witch if I could I'd send it to everyone Chrys

Lonnie

16 years 11 months ago

If it looks like a duck.........!!!!

HEHEHEHEEE!!!! I'm still chuckling! My sense of humor must be affecting you too! Never knew you could be so frivolous with your poetry! Bravo a hundred times over!

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Ahhh Bear

Thank you. I can be very frivolous at times lol Me

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

LMAO!

I love the little flowers toweling off their faces - excellent little fun line. Hitting bunnies, purple umbrellas, flowers wiping off faces, talking worms... yeah, I'll have what she's having! =) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Flying so high, trying to remember How many cigarettes did I bring along? When I get down, I'll jump in a taxi-cab Driving through London-town to cry you a song..." - Jethro Tull

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Jess

Nope it's all mine. This was fun to write Mom

Arrow

16 years 11 months ago

Loved it.

I agree with Gee - it brightened my day (even though I prefer the rain). One thing: line 11, "world" --> "would." This could be wonderfully illustrated.

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

arrow

Thanks for catching that , yes it is would. Thank you for stopping by. I too like a summer rain , but geesh, enough Chrys

Janice Pearce

16 years 11 months ago

Swimming Ducks

The way this was written, I could almost see it before my eyes, being read to me all the colors and happenings in a childrens book excellent Chris~ _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Janice

Many thanks , the south finally had some rain , guess I brought it ewith me. This was a fun write thanks for reading Chrys

weirdelf

16 years 11 months ago

this struck me gorgeously

you know this is a genre that would not normally appeal to me but you write it so perfectly in elegant honesty you seduce me utterly. Cheers, Jess

Kailashana

16 years 11 months ago

Now, I have to thank you

Now, I have to thank you again Chris, just to read the lines Jess wrote. I'll have to steal them: "this struck me gorgeously"... "so perfectly in elegant honesty you seduce me." Ok, i must immortalize those lines, try to do them justice. btw quack quack ~A "There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." Anais Nin

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Jess

AWWW there you are my Aussie friend. I truly am surprised you took the time to read this one. Many thanks, glad you liked it. Will be back with my own internet connection very soon Chrys

Ink Dragon

16 years 11 months ago

Chrys,

I love this humorous little piece, you have found so many near-absurd images here, it made me chuckle. My kids and I have a song for rainy days (it's from a children's musical): Und wollen Sie sich draußen mal bewegen kaufen Sie sich 'nen Regenschirm und ein Schlauchboot für den Garten statt auf Sonnenschein zu warten sollten Sie sich schnell was überlegen denn es gibt sieben Wochen Regen (if you want to walk outside buy yourself an umbrella and a rubber dinghy for the garden instead of waiting for sunshine you ought to think real fast 'cause it's going to rain for seven weeks) We have had more rain than sun here, too, and today, on the first day of our summer holidays, there even was some hail mixed into the rain. Crazy weather! Yours, ~Nina

poewriter58

16 years 11 months ago

Nina

So good to hear from you . Thank you for stopping by and liking what you've read Chrys

hugo la rosa

16 years 11 months ago

I'm new here

and I thought I could thank you for the way you write. I believe I can learn a lot from you. Best Regards. Hugo.

poewriter58

16 years 9 months ago

Hugo

I'm so sorry I missed your comment, thank you for it Chrys

dbaker

16 years 10 months ago

I have never seen such

I have never seen such downpouring of waters as I have witnessed here in South Carolina. As I am a born and raised desert rat, seeing copious water falling from the sky is truly fascinating to me. I have actually witnessed rain storms and their aftermath, as you have so adroitly penned. I love whimsy pieces. Thank You very much for posting this piece! All my best! DS Baker PS Two nights ago I had four inches of standing water in my front yard! That is an entire years supply in Southern Nevada...

hugo la rosa

16 years 10 months ago

Poewriter58

The form in this Poem is masterful, but the theme leaves room for improvement; I believe the world is full of deeper subjects and themes. Nevertheless, let me say that the use of words in this poem is incredible, and the imagery too. Thank you. I have learned quite a bit from you Poewriter. With respect, Hugo.

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