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S
SAKTHEEE2007
Jul 15, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

An appeal to My Lord

                 An appeal to my Lord

                                   

                                   Is it a blessing or curse?

                                   Is it a heaven or hell?

                                   Am I in the hands of Lord or devil?

                                   It’s my state My Lord!

                                  There are some nobles and angels and

                                  A lot of devils among them

                                  There is a smile of glee and beauty ,but

                                  also a lot of evidences for pain and sorrow

                                  Am I a man  blessed or cursed

                                  my Lord! come to answer me and

                                  hear my appeal to live with peace

                                  Victories are following me in my way and

                                   the failures are guiding me ahead

                                  There is  a delightful dawn in the East but

                                   a great threatening from dark west

                                  There is a plenty of meals in a golden plate but

                                  many worms are moving in it

                                   To live or to die

                                   It is my question of this second

                                  My God!

                                  Come and answer me with your grace

 

 


— SAKTHEEE2007, Jul 15, 2009
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Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

16 years 11 months ago

An appeal.....

A moving appeal, Sakkkkkkk. Any life is a life worth living as long as you can affect the world. You are having a tremendous effect on me and others here. I have seen your poetry become larger than parchment and quill. I feel your pain and respect the questions you pose. I appreciate the support that you give on my chats and look forward to your companionship each week. My gray is in awe of the emotion that you express with each new poem. Your title is fine and your language use is improving to the point that it takes less and less effort to understand what you are trying to achieve. The content is consistent all the way through. I would make a few changes, I would write one of your lines as follows: "There is a smile of glee and beauty, but also a lot of evidence for pain and sorrow." Another change would be: " Am I a man blessed or cursed?" and lastly:"There is a delightful dawn in the East but a great threatening in the dark West. Only suggestions of course, but I feel that it might help. Your comrade and friend Gee.

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