Pleasing You

......I want to please you and hopefully teach you
Things that have never been taught babygirl we ought
To get to know each other a little better
You should know that I'm down for whatever
Puts a smile on your face we can get wild
I just wanna taste of how you feel
Let me be the one that'll endow your will
With temptations of wanting to love me
Quit waiting, gone ahead and touch me
And see my reaction I'm about passion
If you want, my love can be everlasting
Or mysterious, I can wear a mask and
Tickle you with my tongue, relax, gone ahead and laugh and
Tell me how you want it, I can strip for you and flaunt it
If you like being teased and taunted, you can guarantee I'm on it
If you like it rough you're in luck I can suck
Until you peak, and love you until you bring out that freak
That'll return that same favor, babygirl I can be whatever flavor
You like just as long as you're doing it right
Nothing is going to ruin this night......of pleasing you

— jzarmel, Jul 29, 2009

Critiques

yenti

16 years 9 months ago

Jaz

This piece sounds like a Rap, but you can say that Rap is Poetry with a beat or a song that is poetic it matters not which way, The theme could be steamy not sure how these are received, most times not well, but can I say that if you can write like this, then other subjects will hold us to your words, Hope to read more of your works, Yours Ian.T

jzarmel

16 years 9 months ago

First, I’d like to say

First, I'd like to say thank you for taking the time out and reading my poetry. That alone makes me feel pretty damn good. Second, I appreciate your feedback and it is kind of like a rap. I especially appreciate when you say that you hope to read more of my works. I 'll do my best in my style of poetry as long as I'm supported and given comments on what I should work on to better myself. So, continue to keep in contact and again, I thank you.

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