doorman

Aug 14, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Segue

The air rests easy

Bone white linen draped bed

Combed hair, blue lip

I am not there now

Knowing, but no word broken

Gentle thought in well

I too will become

Tiny feet's earliest muse

Legends of still you

— doorman, Aug 14, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: NOR

Critiques

Seren

16 years 10 months ago

Your title got my attention ;) clever ....

And the rest just drew me in beautiful poignant write loved it ... !! regards Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

Seren

Dominantly grinning my title caught your eye! Graciously happy you liked my stuff! Thanks, Espen.

Bonitaj

16 years 10 months ago

This is hitting big time! lol But seriously Espen, loved the imagery! "Knowing, but no word broken Gentle thought in well" and of course the juxtaposing of 'Legends of still you...' went straight to the heart! Well done - look forward to more of your poetry! Bonita

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

Thank you.

Boni, as always, thanks for reading this. Yours, Espen.

Ravenshakti

16 years 10 months ago

As always...

I feel the pulse of your words... Very, very fine... Because you have such an exquisite touch. This is lovely, Espen... Raven

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Raven

You can say anything you like. It's important you do that, in the light of the hard weather you've been under lately. It's always an honor for me whenever you choose to stop by. I must admit that your reaction to my poetry sometimes knocks me off the chair,- I'm not used to getting so much praise for my work. It's a humbling experience. So, thank you for being there to rid me of my insecurities, helping me to be more confident. Yours, Espen.

Ravenshakti

16 years 10 months ago

A Contemplation...

The Spirit in a person, is the strongest thing there is. And yet... the most delicate. A conundrum. When it claims it's voice...and speaks clearly; making itself heard... Something happens, when it realizes that every word it speaks is being judged for it's validity. It retreats. And decides it is best to whisper. ...just a thought I wish to share with you. Your friend...always, Raven

odd molly

16 years 10 months ago

you have with your words

you have with your words painted a perfect canvas to be in. The most important thing in a painting is light and in your poem, it is precisely the light that makes it so beautiful. The simplicity and less is more is what makes the Japanese poetry so very beautiful. You have caught it. Wonderful. odd molly

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

Dear odd molly

Your compliment means more to me than you might think. Thank you, odd molly. Sincerely, Espen.

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

There are no greater words

There are no greater words than the word "You".... and you have been graced by two things I love and respect: brevity, concise and full of depth & meaning, and nuance... that unspeakable space between sound, breath and word. Thank you. ~A "If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is wound up in mine, then let us work together." Aboriginal Activist Group, Queensland, 1970's

doorman

16 years 10 months ago

Dear kailashana

You give me a lot of credit here, kailashana. A bit afraid to take it all in. But if the poem evoked these qualities for you, I'm sincerely grateful for your words. Yours, Espen.

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in