A chance encounter

The rhythm of train on trackLulled my body to sleepOn shelved high perch.Another stop,I braced myself. I turned and you were thereOpposite6 feet of air between and beneath us I watched you coylyWith furtive glanceYou stared boldlyas if entranced. Your weathered face told talesOf winters cold.Your head of grey,That you were old But within those eyesI glimpsed a glint of soulSo pure and bright.Our encounter sheer delight Then into a bag beneath your headYou reachedFrom within its dark recessYou pulled a piece of wilderness A flower was offeredAcross that spaceA smile that spread across your faceMirrored in mine. Another stop down the lineAnd you were gone into the throngI was left with memory of kindnessWithin a heart that beat so strong

— seabhac, Aug 15, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

themoonman

16 years 10 months ago

Seabhac...

Hi, a chance train encounter needing no words to imprint the depth of human reachings. I like the poem and the imprint it has on the reader. that you were old... a little flat for me, I think you could come up with a better line there. Merely a suggestion. throng... I was unfamiliar with the term... but after looking it up, it does work... throng = crowd all in all a good poem that left me smiling from the sweet encounter. Richard

seabhac

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks Richard, your

Thanks Richard, your suggestion was good it gets the grey matter in the brain to work..when I find more suitable words of expression I will work on a rewrite....one or two weak areas similar to that in this poem but some times it is best just to get it down and begin work in progress. Liz

seabhac

16 years 10 months ago

thanks for the positive afirmation

Needs a little work yet , valid suggestion from Richard can see a rewrite. Liz

bjp

16 years 10 months ago

Dear Elizabeth,

I was glad to read this poem. There is something about trains. We have few here now. The spaces are too vast to make the time on trains attractive at the prices and comfort offered, except in the golden horseshoe - Windsor-St.Catherine's-Toronto-Montreal(geographically a vague horseshoe holding most of Canada's Canadians). One of my grandfathers worked for Canadian National Railways when it still ran passenger service (now VIA). My Grandmother could travel free on the Railway, and sometimes took me with her when I was very little. The trip from Melfort Saskatchewan to Ottawa Ontario was more than two days and a night. The vast swaths of forest were incredibly long. I would often lean out the open window at the end to the car as I watched the lakes and pines pass with that ever present, clickety-clickety-clickety-clack, which could just about drive you mad with its ceaseless repetition. Although we have no electric trains outside of metropolitan areas, all rails are linked electrically for use transmitting messages. The same linking allows lightening strikes to travel vast distances if they hit a rail, which is a good reason not to walk or sit on them. There still were steam engines in the 1930s: huge engines - they are never seen in the movies now - long, sleek instruments of art deco power. But engines are smaller now and not so artistic babbles on the landscape. If you ever get to the Ottawa Museum of Science and Technology, it contains about a dozen of those gorgeous behemoths. We do not talk about planes the same, do we? Brian

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