Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

October Coming Down

tattered rags
replace the finery
of late spring

wind sighs

causing a rattling
within its chest
once turgid with pride

chill air

grips at its cloak
pulling
then falling away

damp earth

catches remnants
of glorious summer
passed by

fertile soil

takes in
memories
decomposing

sprouting again
— Bert Lamrick, Sep 08, 2009

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Loved the rebirth at the end

Loved the rebirth at the end of the poem Rick nice touch it really sets it apart .. great work as usual lol :P love and hugz Jayne x x
BL

Bert Lamrick

16 years 9 months ago

I try to show

the often missed silver lining in my pieces. It's always there, if we take the time to look closely. Thanks for taking the time. Love, ~Rick
W

Wafi

16 years 9 months ago

Wind Sighs...

Rick, you say things so beautifully my friend... Very well done. Enjoyed reading this too. Sincerely, Wafi "Culture, location and beliefs; All vanish with love!" ~Afzal Shauq~
BL

Bert Lamrick

16 years 9 months ago

I appreciate your

kind comments. Honestly. Thank you, again. ~Rick
L

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Rick

Great read. I also loved the line about rebirth. Funny how seasons can play with the way we see things in life. I enjoyed. Lyz. XX
BL

Bert Lamrick

16 years 9 months ago

It's important

I think, to really notice these changes of seasons as they unfold. For as the seasons change, so do we. It's all good. Thank you very much, Lyz. Love, ~Rick
autumnphoenix

autumnphoenix

16 years 8 months ago

October

Hello I enjoyed your poem. I happen to love the autumn season. I love October best since it is my birth month. The imagery of your words is wonderful. I like to think of October as a phoenix month. A showy burst of firey color and the start of promises of rebirth. Thank you for the imagery. Dana
BL

Bert Lamrick

16 years 8 months ago

Thank you, Dana

Your pen name is perfect, then. I appreciate you. Sincerely, ~Rick
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

Dear Rick

All the seasons have a special feel and meaning for me, but October is one of my favorite months. Your descriptive skills are wonderful in this piece. But then, they always are, Sir Wordsmith. My favorite lines are: fertile soil takes in memories decomposing sprouting again regeneration is one of my favorite things. Always, Cat
BL

Bert Lamrick

16 years 8 months ago

Thank you,

dear Cat. I believe each of the seasons have lessons for us all. I do. Love, ~Rick

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.