Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Q
Quillsvein1
Sep 19, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

my day's risen

The green light sings
through holes in the nighttime's
forest.  Dead bees burst
open pinecones in a
corridor of reeds,
illuminated by a
sweet blue light.  You
lie there in swamp water,
growing a third eye.  
 
— Quillsvein1, Sep 19, 2009
More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

Growing a third eye are you

Growing a third eye are you alluding to her life after death ? or is there another meaning this one had me hooked and trying to puzzle it out made me want to know it ... great read .. I loved it Kind regards love Jayne x x
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

hello

I really liked the sound of this poem as I read it out loud, but like Jayne, I am still trying to figure out the meaning. Could you enlighten us? Thank you. Always, Cat
Q

Quillsvein1

16 years 8 months ago

i actually

edited the poem, to "you open your eye", but neopoet doesn't seem to be working properly. this is basically a dylaneseque (dylan thomas, not bob) elegy to the passing of the seasons, a kind of mood piece. thank you cat and jayne. GB

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in