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Zen's Foreign Eyes

I see the one with uneven shoulders.
I see his sweater stained with eggyolk and God
knows what else.
I see the unpitied aggression
in his untied boots.
I see the brimmed hat
like a sweatshops'
knitted fangs.

I see spit,
I see Zebra cotton in
his smile. 

I see his hurried leading nowhere,
I see the gaseous invisibility
of his intoxication.

I see the ampitheatre where he
will not pay.

I see the truck with a wide berth.
I see him hip it, nudge it, roll his
eyes.

I hear his gasping stories downtown,
later maybe,
perhaps tonight after being
struck by kids with
bottle rockets.

He thinks he hears mine
— Quillsvein1, Sep 25, 2009

Critiques

Seren

Seren

16 years 8 months ago

GB

This was sooo full of visual images I just had one in my head and the next turned up ... this is about the homeless ? wonderful write, its power lays in the pictures you create in our minds ... great work ... Kind regards love Jayne x x x
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 8 months ago

John

Not only homeless, but possibly an outcast as well?? The egg-pelting, etc is what made me think of that. The one part I didn't understand was about the truck - was very confused. Nice to see more writing from you! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "I called out of work because of anal euphoric myopia: I couldn't see my happy ass being there...."
Q

Quillsvein1

16 years 8 months ago

thank you Jess and Jayne

Yes, Jess, this is about a homeless guy I occasionally see walking downtown. I don't know him or anything, he just looks very agitated and his gait is disrupted. I suppose he is indeed an outcast as well. GB
I

Idlemindwondering

16 years 8 months ago

This

is my second read of yours and again it is a tribute to another's life; I find that appealing and commendable. I often write about the homeless and their plight for it is very real and too easily dismissed and ignored. I have enjoy this glimpse of a life you have offered me and like how you chose to end this: "He thinks he hears mine" Reminding us all that as we watch, so do they for we are not that different. ken

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