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T
Tessadiana
Oct 14, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

my mirror

I look into the mirrorred lips painted on my facebut when I wash it all awayI doubt the smile will keep its place I look into my eyesCovered with colors so dearTakes away from the sadnessThe hatred, and the fear I look at other girlsAnd envy their grace and looksLook at myself once moreThen get lost in all my books A smart girl could be meBut I long the life of funSo I put back on my makeupAnd stand out from everyone
— Tessadiana, Oct 14, 2009
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Critiques

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 8 months ago

hello

Our culture dictates that we be obsessed with youth and beauty, just to fit in. I like the title. I wrote a poem similar to this one, titled "Come September" it is from an older persons point of view. The language usage was good, for the most part. The pacing is good and the theme is one of interest. I had a problem with this line: But I long the life of fun Always, Cat
Mark

Mark

16 years 3 months ago

that line is a bit of worry for me

You see, tess, makeup in theory makes one more attractive thus one receives more attention. It is normally an adjunct to what we do in order to boost our self esteem. I comb my hair and shave (as a guy) Now, some do not like attention for whatever reason and a conflict happens when one makes themself so to get attention unwanted. So that line is saying this person is not having fun yet wants to. What is holding this person back? Hopfully helpful, Mark "I do not walk the earth and eat out of dumpsters, I'm not a bum, I'm beat."

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