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All For Them

 Locked up, held prisoner, bounded by wounds that still bleed.The pain of the heart, it screams, but is drowned out by fear.Never admitting defeat, always losing the battle and winning life at war.Fake the smiles and laughs, pretend your ok, but it won’t last.Betray who betrayed you; abandon those who left you to fend for yourself.Everything you ever lived for seems to disappear, but your still here.Tied up, hanging high from the rope that hangs you.Cut down by ambition and the will to never admit defeat.You see the people you loved; you never show them that you feared.You fought for them again and again.When you fell you licked your wounds, and tasted the salty sweet blood upon your lips.You’ll get up again, never back down, never surrender, show no mercy.Your Dead but kept alive, your tortured for them
— reichley, Dec 25, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Indiana, USA

Favorite Poets: Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe , Emily Dickinson and Shakespeare

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Critiques

A

Arrow

16 years 4 months ago

I feel like this poem lacks bigger meaning.

I hear the expression of individual pain and defiance but not the existential statement. There is something more powerful in Miro's Dog Barking at the Moon than there would be in an individual lamenting and raging about one person's alienation. I also find the last two lines incoherent. In the next to last line, there is a clear statement of defiance but then in the last line, the speaker has clearly lost ("dead"). There are also multiple grammatical and spelling errors. I do like the energy of this poem - the long lines, the use of commas and semicolons to run the thoughts together and all the strong verbs.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

I hint- when you address a poem to "you"

it does one of 3 things. It either removes it from your own emotional accountability, reducing its impact, it becomes an accusation, which is one step from being a martyr, or it becomes didactic, which we go to school, not for poetry for. Arrows tecnical crits are spot on. This may explain Arrows reaction. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

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