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Racing Through My Veins

I sit patiently staring at the wall
Listening to the clock tick slowly
Waiting for a sign
Glancing every now and again
In every other direction
Always returning to the clock
Listening to its deadly sound
Every tick leads me closer to the end
I hear the wind pick up outside
Something I'll really miss
I can feel it racing through my veins
I begin to close my eyes
It's completely dark now
All I hear is the ticking of the clock
Bringing me to the final end
— destiny, Dec 29, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

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Critiques

D

destiny

16 years 5 months ago

ok whats format like what do

ok whats format like what do you mean i just write to be writing it feels good i really don't know to much about it
B

broken_skye

16 years 4 months ago

Ok format is....

This is format. You should learn how to write your poems like this it is a good way I have learned. Now it is your turn.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 5 months ago

This is pretty good destiny

See how many words, even lines, you can remove without losing the meaning Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Eek, destiny,

a spooky little poem! The horror of it comes so silently, almost on tiptoe. I don't think it needs much work, but will be looking forward to any revisions. Do let me know if you need more specific suggestions, or you may consider asking Jess (weirdelf), who also left a comment. Yours, ~Nina

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