Calliope ..... to n

I had just logged out, and saw this poem. I read it and then read it again...and again. Your words carry pictures, memories and a melody... What a lovely choice of words... I love the sound of "cotton candy truth"... Here's one of my favorite lines "Ignorance walks with a big shadow under the big topless sky" and the last stanza: "Loving hands hold on to me somewhere Sating the dripping lust in dreams In rage I fear the weakness I will not allow myself The balloons I will not buy Because lies dont laugh Or play with children like us" All in all, this poem is exquisite. Gentle regards, Raven. PS My first and only pet when I was a little girl, was a little turtle. It had it's own little plastic Island... I kept the little turtle and Island next to my bed... at night my pet turtle would nestle in my hair and travel with me to Dreamtime. I loved that little turtle...

a pet worm? How funny! We had spiders and frogs, my brother and I :) And yes, it's supposed to be capitalized when it's a proper name (even if it's just a worm and its name ;) Leaving a couple of suggestions: Nothing new under the sun The morning is a new circus tent in my poem? (why a questionmark? I think it would come across stronger without the questionmark) Ignorance walks with a big shadow (maybe: Ignorance's giant shadow walks...) under the big topless sky concealed beneath the clowns make up (clowns should be clown's) calliope’s smooth hand in my pocket The reasoning of those dark fun-houses Pinocchio’s cotton candy truth (love those two lines!) believeing the sunlight on a wooden nose (believeing should be believing, also why not lose the "the" here?) leaving hands to hold on to me somewhere Sating the dripping lust in dreams In rage I fear the weakness I will not allow myself The balloons I will not buy (decapitalize The, maybe line break after balloons?) Becouse lies dont laugh (becouse should be because, and don't with an apostrophe) Or play with children like us Great piece, the final line reminds me of a song in German (Spiel nicht mit den Schmuddelkindern/sing nicht ihre Lieder; don't play with the dirty kids, don't sing their songs). I always wanted to be a Schmuddelkind rather than a nice and clean one :) Yours, ~Nina

Sing this then:- "There's a worm at the bottom of the garden and his name is wiggly woo,(X2) There's a worm at the bottom of the garden and all that he can do is wiggle all night and wiggle all day and so the village people say Repeat first 2 lines." Pantomime song in the 1940's sung by the male washer woman! And the whole audience mostly children. My only 'contact with worms earth worms I presume? Oh and Nina What a poem to dedicate to you, wonderful isn't it? "Ignorance walks with a big shadow
under the big topless sky" loved this bit. The reason FOR? Becouse=Because? I've already mentioned the other thing we laughed at about a worm,:- he went under and on coming up again he saw another worm, and said:- "good morning Mr. Worm" and the other one said : " Don't be a silly ass I'm you're tail" Oh what a tale! Waiting for les étoiles! Love Ann.

hi there barry i love the stanza where you mention pinocchio`s nose, that has great meaning beyond its words , becouse / because a wee typo maybe , i enjoyed this and its originality ,,,,,,,ziggy

Well Barry, I saw the title and from not really know you and thought ooohhhh the Greek muse Calliope... this will poertry on poetry or some such. How wrong was I! It was a pet worm... and I now know that vermicular friends are mighter than a quill! Splendid metaphorical linage and melodic overture is made with eloquent phrases such as "Pinocchio’s cotton candy truth believeing the sunlight on a wooden nose" (Note no second E in believing! oh and the penultimate line has becouse, rather than because, just silly typos we all do so don't worry!) because for me I pictured the evergrowing shadow his nose would produce in glorious sunglow! What a sight that would be... you could play snooker with him and not need a cue lol! It is a great reflection on times gone by and you give a good whimiscal feel which adds to childish tone and makes this very pleasant, even if you are looking back in drama! I am a child at heart even though I have now grown up... and such things have great sentiment and you have found that very much so in the spirit of this poem. Very good indeed. Dale :)

Aside from a couple nitpick spelling typos ("Because" "don't" - like I said, typos not errors)I think the structure works very very well. The creative lines and phrases such as below were flag in the ground highlights for me: "The morning is a new circus tent..." "...big topless sky" "Pinocchio’s cotton candy truth Believeing the sunlight on a wooden nose" Something about this write makes me uneasy and it has nothing to do about how well it is written. Maybe that simple fact makes it that much more successful. -Nathaniel

thanks for welcoming me into your world of poetry.when i read this I notice it wasn't the tradional rhyming type of poetry.it's funny when i began to write i thought rhyming was poetry .as i read more poems by poets i realized that poems that doesnt rhyme.well they make it to the top of the charts.i read this over many times. thanks for painting a picture with colors of words for us,so that we may see clear that words too,like light are able to penetrate the dark.