The Tenderness of a Teardrop

His illusion for love
rendered the heart misguided
As he confessed how he felt
Her voice became silent

She thought back of times
When their bond was so strong
Yet remembered the crimes
All the things they'd done wrong

When he gazed into her eyes
A single tear fell
Though so small and tender
It set off a bomb shell

A blast to the heart
Was what tore them apart
For the tenderness of her tear
Brought to life his worst fear

— Carchuleto, Dec 31, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Ink Dragon

16 years 5 months ago

Hi Carchuleto,

and Happy New Year! (Got snowed under in New Year celebrations, so am only coming to your poetry now.) This is a decent poem, you make good use of rhymes and assonance. The theme is quite common, but you offer a fresh take on it. A little vagueness is a good thing in a poem, but I fear this one may be too vague for many. Usually, one hints at the reason for the tears one describes. I have a feeling this is about a man confessing his love to a woman, but she turns him down, though she does not do so lightheartedly. Is that anywhere near the mark? Yours, ~Nina

Carchuleto

16 years 5 months ago

Thank you!

for your honesty on this Nina. Yes I agree I still have quite some work in this area. This topic is a bit out of my safe zone specifically for those reasons. Love is a very often used as a topic, and I have yet to develop a unique style of my own on it. I will try to be less vague in the future. -Carch

BrightEyed

16 years 5 months ago

wow

i absolutely love this.. u weren't lying when u said you could interpret emotion well. brilliant

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in