Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Mind Altering Drugs

Amphetamines are attractive

Instead of sleeping I am staring

The mirror sees a fat-free mess with a sweat varnish

I am foliage

Dying, tired yellow eyes and special red lips highlighted on a pale base

A strong heart marches loudly

Creating a neo warmth

 The pains are fun

Tiny burns of chapped lips

The cough from another cigarette

I feel good, I’m tired and hungry

My mind is a jaguar

I bite down, teeth clamping is my head’s safety belt

I’m brilliant bathing in my philosophies

My friends should learn from me

I will write a bible


— Brian Lucky, Jan 03, 2010

Critiques

DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 5 months ago

Anything written on

Anything written on Amphetamines usually lack whats needed to revist. And of all I am sure was written on speed, that is the first time it has been in the first line. I don't find Amphetamines attractive anymore, but that is just an opinion. Been there, done that. I have two extra kids for others love of it. I will keep an eye open for that coming Bible. Julie D.D.
phoenixflame

phoenixflame

16 years 5 months ago

This poem is..

The poem is compelling, pushing you to read more till the end. It's like a book you can't put down. You're quite the writer. Phoenix.
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

16 years 5 months ago

Brian

I haven't been there, but the writing is good. I can see the conflict within from this nicely written piece. Looking to read more from you. ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Breakinglogic

Breakinglogic

16 years 5 months ago

hey lucky, love this one

hey lucky, love this one too. I agree with phoenixflame, very trapping :) Good detail! I also think the last three lines served well to tie off the write. Peace and cheers logic

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.