Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

icicle suicide

Icy legs hang down
knowing how to escape this town
jump and fall shatter below
scattered like glass in the frozen snow
or wait until the warmth of the sun
slowly melts the legs and snow
into one
the jump would be loud
and painful and daring
the melt would be quiet
and unnoticed
no one caring
the thoughts in my head
a blender on crush
and then, too late
drip, drip drip
slush
— moianna, Jan 12, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 4 months ago

Hello moiana,

I found this a highly imaginative poem with many levels of meaning, well executed too. Can't understand why no one has bothered to comment... My only suggestion would be to reshape it and make it look like an icicle, that would make it a pick-me-up-after-reading poem :) Yours, ~Nina
moianna

moianna

16 years 4 months ago

Nina

thanks for the feedback! Maybe it needs a better title? Suggestions?

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.