Lost Souls

Well that was a great first post Wayne! There is some formattin issues, the poem submitter can be tricky. If you would like some help let me know. And maybe a skipped word or two. The ryhme was a little lost towards the end. But I think that it turned out well. If you put some more in to it over the next few days, I bet that it would polish up nice! I will try to come back and check up on it! Julie D.D.

There seem to be some stray spaces at the beginnings of lines and some stanza breaks would help. Some scansion problems, read it aloud, you will see what I mean, it sounds like some lines don't hit the meter (rhythm) and some have a few syllables too few or too many. I can't comment on content. Overtly religious pieces are problematic at best and very difficult to achieve any originality. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

the structure but especially the content. To me, once you make it personal it is spiritual instead of religious. a couple of typos Satin/Satan and Inlected/inflicted Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

Poetry is not poetry until IT IS personal...until then it's depictions, phrasings, and run-on sentences. Thank you Jess. Welcome to Neopoet Wayne, any relation to THE Wadsworth? ~A

Oh I liked how this evolved Wayne! Don't center your title, but the format worked MUCH better and your flow returned. YEAH. And what a great first post. I wish all new people showed up in chat and look at the end results, you already have a ton of friends! I am just busting a grin as your greeter seeing you get so involved!! Julie D.D.

I've edited your lovely poem and if you like it this way, it's still the same poem, just edited a little for flow, You can cut and paste this in edit. Your were kind in your comment of my poem `Whispering Sorrow` so I thought a little help to thank you, you wouldn't mind. A fallen angel, sentenced to Hell. For the souls, I have taken all broken and frail. The heavens rebuked me and forced me to dwell, in the dark depths of eternity, a place called Hell Stitch all around me no escape can be found. Pain and sorrow of lost souls that are bound. There on his throne Satan sat waiting, for the souls that are, his rejections from Heaven. The crown on his head and blood in his eye, fire in his laughter as the demons danced by. The fear of damnation had filled my soul, revealing the truths, I had never told. Thoughts overwhelmed me of the pain I Inflicted, for this was a time, I would’ve never depicted. His judgment declared my sentence received. Eternity of darkness, with last words I plead. In the depths of hell, my fate was set. Forced to dwell an eternity of regret. Your new friend Rosina xena465