My Heart Weeps

My heart weeps

For the solitude

That you express

In your silent behaviour,

There’s distress,

Where in this life,

You came across us

Why such strife

You bring to our lives.

What has to happen at this rate?

As in silence

Loneliness

Time flies,

Alas there has to be some end

To this madness,

It brings a great deal of sadness,

To my lonely heart,

Which can’t share?

With any one

What my heart does care,

And in isolation

In silence

Your behaviour

I have to bear

— loved, Feb 12, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

Critiques

loved

16 years 4 months ago

thanks for ur appreciation

thanks a great deal one for all generations of valentine poets Roses of a Valentine Love…. Roses of a Valentine Love…. I waited in the garden where I live, all long the whole silent day, longing that he will pass, this lovely Valentine day and to me surely hello he’ll say. But the day is nearing its end, there is neither a bell boy nor a card did he send. But my hopes are pinned On the rows of roses Those are red, We all know. The petals are soft too, That’s a great show. But a rose in ones’ hand Is an indication? Of a likelihood of lovely reunification When shall come my chance, to a Valentine be, instead of infatuation When will someone a red rose present to me, Today I turn sixteen This February fourteen, Will someone send? A basket of roses my way Just for name, If not for love sake Just for my lovely Valentine day. Ah! There comes Sam with a rose, Perhaps from his elder brother I suppose, But the dear guy smiles and passes by, If he hadn’t the rose to give me, Why did the guy come, just tell me? He did come I don’t know why, then as I was about to go away, running, towards me was Sonny. Panting, smiling, sighing, laughing, crying, and sweating, Hardly could he wait to say, come my Valentine, it’s our biggest day today. This rose I had sent for you But Sammy wanted himself to woo, So when I learnt of his game, I couldn’t wait, I am late, forgive me Please be my Valentine, not for now But all my life, I promise to make you My loving wife If you desire you may Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me, But my Lovely one, Don’t you ever miss me! JUST A SIMPLE POEM THATS ALL

Nordic cloud

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Istan I know this feeling deep inside me,

Ann of Norway Oh how I know this feeling deep inside me, that silence is so unbearable from a loved person, so devastating, as we can fill it with all sorts of fantasies of bad thoughts and terrifying developments that don't exist, maybe, and yet which plague us so intensely that the silence, if it persists tends to kill the love one has for the other, even if only temporarily, I know this feeling only too well. But you poem about it is lovely, I like this one only a few tiny quibbles below!! Well done Istan, no more about not being able to write poetry. There is inconsistency in the use of commas, I don't know "The Rules" of poetry and plead ignorant but have heard say either a comma at the end of every line, or in keeping(as I would do) with the flow of the sentence created, the phrase, the breath. In your silent behaviour,........( here for instance I would not put a comma) There’s distress, "What has to happen at this rate?"..........(not fond of -at this rate!!) "Which can’t share?....................( would prefer-cannot-here!) With any one What my heart does care,"................(.cut out -does-and just put careS/ with my heart I care?) "In silence Your behaviour I have to bear".............( oh please one more line, or another ending)

loved

16 years 4 months ago

sorrry

got to the intended corrections on commmas etc on my heart weeps thanks gnite ma'am

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in