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Love and Lust

A soft sigh
after a lingering kiss
as your hands trace desire
along the bare skin on my back
my heart pounds in my chest
as I gaze into your blue gray eyes
a tingling trail
is left from your finger
lightly dancing on my neck
and in my hair
I hold you close
Oh so close
not wanting to let go
never wanting to let go
but I must
With one last kiss
deep and lust-filled
I must leave you
for just a little while

They say love is a lie
for those that are young
that your "Love"
is nothing but lust
but what they don't see
is that love comes from lust...
— Silent_Rain, Feb 16, 2010

Critiques

arja

arja

16 years 3 months ago

L5:”my heart pounds in my

L5:"my heart pounds in my cheat" -should "cheat" be "chest"? L7:"a trail of little tingles" TRY: "a tingling trail" ..overall, i love the read..specially the last 2 lines "but what they don’t see is that love comes from lust…". True in the sense, that some easily fall out of love because of lust...
S

Silent_Rain

16 years 3 months ago

Lolz!!

Thanks agian for the suggestions! I will fix that and all... ~Rain~
B

broken_skye

16 years 3 months ago

Bravo

2445D5436q34I4556L56726L4627I8766N Did u get my message? And how in the world is this message for me?? I am now scared.....
S

Silent_Rain

16 years 3 months ago

...

Shut up kid!! lolz jk i love you, and yes, i got the message... ~Rain~

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