Eyes Inside

Eyes in side
no where to hide

They see what I do
they see you to

They haunt me
And taunt me

They show me visions of mistakes
and then sadness awakes

They whisper words of worry
that make my vision blurry

Why do they do this
and drag my mind into an abyss

Black and lifeless
stuck here is nothingness

Left with nothing
wanting just a little something

But I'll just say
that I'm okay

That is what I must do
to make it through

This life that is mine
I just have to say I'm fine

Because over the years
I have shed many tears

and over the years
I have faced may fears

I lived through it all
I refuse to fall

Faced by these eyes
If fallen; I'll rise

— Silent_Rain, Feb 19, 2010

Critiques

ifoundaplace

16 years 3 months ago

Rain

Rain, I really like this. It's short and simple, but syas a lot. awesome job. Dani.

Silent_Rain

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Dani! I’m glad that

Thanks Dani! I'm glad that you like it ~Rain~

mand

16 years 3 months ago

I sometimes feel like this,

I sometimes feel like this, trapped in a prison of negativity, living a lie, trying to hide how we feel, battling through. Life is full of trials but your last sentiments are positive, despite everything "you will rise." a poem of courage, reflection and honesty.

Silent_Rain

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks for the comment! I

Thanks for the comment! I had troble with the ending, I was not sure how to end it but some how came up with a positive ending... ~Rain~

old friend of kurt

16 years 3 months ago

We all know those eyes...

I found this to be an interesting poem, especially in the way in which it came to convey such an intensified inner probing, and an assured reliance upon weary awareness. I felt the overall wording scheme of this pertained mostly to quite common emotions, but I found the poem profound in the way in which it took on the nature of speaking in narrative-like thoughts. It had a rather hypnotic flow throughout, and the effect of profound insight seemed apparent. Finally, I liked the conclusion, as the final lines to this piece confirmed both hope, and positive declaration. Indeed, I think we all know those eyes you write of. old friend of kurt

Silent_Rain

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks to you as well!! Im

Thanks to you as well!! Im glad that you saw all that is my simplw write!! ~Rain~

Silent_Rain

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks Indi!! ~Rain~

broken_skye

16 years 3 months ago

-Skye-

Rain in stanzas 11 and 12 "may" should be "many" or "my" right?

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