language created, hopefully lost

I...being a woman...will say a more than a few words to you...done it already...and I say, try going outside of your area and meet people that you will enjoy a conversation with. Very strong poem...I like it. Rosina xena465

so you should be able to expect a helpful suggestion or two from anyone who comments on your poems, but this is almost exclusively not the case, I'm afraid. You can request a special mentor (here is a list of all the mentors: www.neopoet.com/dashboard/protege) to work one-on-one with you on your poetry, but other than that there is no sure way to get advice here despite the fact that this is supposed to be a workshop environment. I can, however, promise you that on any poem of yours that I read, I will always offer my humble advice and provide suggestions to the best of my ability. I know the type of girl you write about in this poem. I'm very young as well but I can't help it when I feel a bit superior (at least intellectually, that's for certain) when I have to speak to them. It's sad really, to think of how far woman have come in the last century only to have them turn into the typical Barbie girl who's most used vocabulary word is 'like'. Lonnie has a poem on a similar topic here: www.neopoet.com/node/34331. My main suggestion is to add a tiny bit more punctuation to aid the flow of the poem and I also have a few other ideas. Note: the words before the arrow (-->) are your words as they appear in the poem and the words after the arrow are your words with my suggestions added. Also, the forward slash (/) represents your line breaks. Stanza 1- with most people in these towns--> towns, Stanza 2- and men/but mostly women--> and men,/ but mostly women, OR and men/ (but mostly women) somehow can incorporate--> can somehow incorporate Stanza 6 that I enjoy/speaking--> that I enjoy/speaking so passionately (I would suggest adding a few syllables to that last line, you could use my idea or anything else, I just think that the last line ends too abruptly) Hope this helps! I really enjoyed this poem, I feel the same way! Kelsey

this one had me laughing out loud. It reminds me of the war many linguists are waging on English sounding words here in my home country (I'm from Germany). We have a brilliant columnist who writes about this kind of thing here (it's in German, so you won't get the joke, I'm afraid, or I'd share some of the most hilarious cases). But you see that it's a universal phenomenon you are describing here :) Yours, ~Nina

I have to agree with you. I also abhor the way these kids write, for example: U = you UR = you are. and lower case "I" gets me going every time. You've gotten some good advice from Kelsey, stick with her and she will steer you right. Nice to meet you! Always, Cat

Hello, The old hoary chestnut, revisited. English as a language is very adaptive. It has become the 'lingua franca' across the world and second only to Manderin Chinese in it's progress. With grow comes change. The english spoken in Shakespeare's time is different to that spoken in common parlance today. Californian english is a dialect...admitedly an irritating one, but essentially a dialect. English is vibrant, not fossilised like Latin. Be grateful. Ells x

JT. You really stirred it up. I got a few laughs out of all the comments!