Worry Follow Me

Worry follow me
like a lost dog no leash
sniffing scratching poking
a wet nose cold doubt beneath

I threw you as a stick
but you come back to me again
fetching twigs of torment
another burden in my hand

Slobbered upon my plans
I'll throw you further now this time
running confidence I display
as you catch up I fall behind

shoo dog shoo
I have no food for you stray
everytime I go to leave
you stick around you stay

trampled under foot
you'll be with me till the end
always by my side revived
your truly mans best friend

worry follow me
as I lay down to rest
my expense is of our time
and your loyalty is no less

— Spectrum, Feb 21, 2010

Critiques

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Oh, isn’t it the most

Oh, isn't it the most beautiful thing, that everyone deserves to have a loyal friend? Much adored you pen. Burdon=burden, or did you mean Eric Burdon of the rock group: Animals? ~Anna "If parents really would love their children there would no longer be any war." J. Krishnamurti

sha_onarainyday

16 years 3 months ago

I really like your first and

I really like your first and last stanzas, they have an excellent flow, but somewhere in the middle I got lost in the dog and stick metaphor. I think that the 4th stanza could be cut easily. I think the beginning and end are excellent and help wrap the whole idea together.

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in