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Stolen Innocence



Those horrible cold eyes     Starring at me without mercy     I choked and froze on a blazing summer’s day His filthy, iron hands grabbed me roughly without care     Lowered and then nailed me to the surface with rage     Carelessly stripped me of everything    And broke loose the gates of hell    When he forcefully gained access to my sacred place    And started feeding his insatiable lust Enjoying every moment without quilt     Going up and down on top of me like a yo-yo    Groaning with pleasure while I was buried     Inside the reeling room of shame, mourning    Unashamed, unembarrassed he kept going,     Drenched in stinking dismaying sweat Silently I kept crying within the confines of fears     My hopes sunken hollow in a grave of self-pity     Inevitably my world came to an abrupt halt     My pride deprived     My confidence stolen    My dreams devoured And nothing will ever excavate them from     The deepest deep that they’ve gone to     No sentence will ever compensate me     For the pain I suffered when my     Innocence was stolen.
— Moloko D. Mahuma, Apr 13, 2010

Critiques

GI

Giuliana Isabella

16 years 2 months ago

Well,

I can't really call this poem lovely but that is because you have conveyed this terrible moment so that it is very real. Your title is very fitting and I like how it ties into your last stanza (which is excrutiatingly painful and beautifully written). I love your use of language. I don't really know what else to say, so I'm going to leave it at that...
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

Fight grrrl! He took nothing from you, he did things to you.

You have women and men all over the globe caring about what happened and fighting to stop it happening to others. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/BrokenFlashbackGypsy?ref=nf You are not alone and you are not defiled, he is. If you would like personal support with this I am probably not appropriate, being a male, but with permission can put you in touch with women who can support you. with care, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible
MM

Moloko D. Mahuma

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks for caring Jess

Personally, I've never experience rape, and I know many people will accuse me of writing about something that I haven't had an encounter with. However, rape affect us all as humans. I just cannot fathom what drives these people to become rapists, and child molesters.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 2 months ago

that is really interesting beause I have criticised

poets recently for writing about what they don't know. They usually do it with sentiment and in the second person, inspirational. You, however, are clearly a writer with deep understanding and poise. The title is all wrong to me, because, as I said in my previous comment, it is all the work of the perpetrator. Yet it should not sound like a total victim either. Speaking from a personal perspective we can claim I lives back but it takes work. Perhaps putting the title in the past tense might help. I look forward to more of your work. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible
MM

Moloko D. Mahuma

16 years 2 months ago

Point taken Jess

I will remember your advise in future.
MM

Moloko D. Mahuma

16 years 2 months ago

Appreciated

Thank you Giuliana for your honest comment, I really appreciate it. However, I just can't stand the rapists and child molesters, I hope and pray that one day they see they will see the light and repent.
MM

Moloko D. Mahuma

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you

I was trying to put myself in their shoes - rape affect us all.I really appreciate your comments.
xena465

xena465

16 years 2 months ago

Well described Moloko

So many of us have been victims of rape, male and female. I for one have been raped and your description is spot on. I'm not afraid to tell you this because I know it wasn't my fault. More people should speak out about this diabolical act of coward ness from the rapist who uses power and strength to overpower a defenceless person. Rosina xena465
MM

Moloko D. Mahuma

16 years 2 months ago

Salute

I salute you for being so brave to talk about it because there is a stigma attached to rape. And I'm glad you that you aknowledge the fact that it was not your fault. Nobody deserves to be sexually abused, if people could understand that, ours will be a better world. I admire the strength in you and I know through you some broken hearts will heal.

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