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What good is love

I waited for your love in hope,
that ours would come again,
and make me feel the things I felt,
when we were one back then

but time and distance have erased,
the things i wished anew,
and now i find myself alone,
though i am here with you,

What good is love, that does not touch
What good is love, that gives you pain
What good is love, that makes you run
And makes you lost in the rain.

I traveled to another world,
Out far beyond the one we knew,
I thought that I could live again,
And now I find I'm back with you,

But what of hearts that beat as one,
and what of passion and embrace,
is it to much to ask of you,
To make these tears of mine erase,

What good is love, that does not touch,
What good is love, that gives you pain,
What good is love that makes you run,
And makes you lost in the rain,

Too painful this, to journey back,
To times of love and laughter free,
The times we lay together with,
a secnce of you, a sence of me,

So now I journey on alone,
forever wondering in my thoughts,
And I shall ask you once again,
Waht good is love,
When nothing left, of what we had been.
— Dark.Poetress, May 18, 2010

Critiques

Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years ago

Hello Poet_Laureate

I like this a great deal - the way it's worded without too much gory sentiment, a naive desire to answer a rhetorical question - it speaks from an inarticulate heart! Be sure to correct the spelling in the last verse and perhaps re-write a stronger ending>? just imho. Regards BOnitaj
Dark.Poetress

Dark.Poetress

16 years ago

Thanks

wow thanks! kk i will fix mis-spelling I will try and come up with something for changing the ending thanks! Mahalo, Ash/Poet
S

scribbler

16 years ago

love

What a good work on love gone stale!With it's rhyme and meter,couldn't help but read it as "western classic".Poetry and architecture both have structure,and as Frank Loyd Wright said:"sometimes less is more".Perhaps try omitting"out far"in line 14,and"make" in line 16.Just an idea.......scribbler
Dark.Poetress

Dark.Poetress

16 years ago

Thanks!

I will try it, it make work quite well,thanks scribbler Ash/Poet

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