barbsdad2003

May 20, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

the capital

==

the
capital

L,
so unyielding,
severe, so upright harsh, so
inflexibly
disapproving,

so
disinclined to
boisterous laughter
                             (levity clearly
                             not her long suit)
or
to tolerate
the least informality;
her back starchly
straight---
                             indeed, it must
                             be formed of
                             hardened steel---
her one leg
extends flat-pencil
right

(from
anywhere I
may stand); and she sits, she never
lies ... I do so
wish

she'd
take a break now
and again; perhaps then I'd
book a block
of

time
to lie with her

==

— barbsdad2003, May 20, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

xena465

16 years ago

I love the fancy formatting Chuck

And the flow and wording is perfect, but I'm afraid to guess what it's about...a building(s)? Or a woman who is a bit hard to reach...in understand you??? Oh dear! You'll have to tell me, I'm a bit thick sometimes. Rosina xena465

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Laughing here

It's about the capital L ... and how I imagine her personality might be. I acknowledge it's all good metaphor that an astute reader can take to the bank (pre- or post-regulation). Thanx, Chuck

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Chuck

to book a block of time to lie with her damn Chuck I really love those lines I loved the whole pome but I have line envy lol again love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Thanx

I wrestled a bit over those two lines, but they finally arrived ... just in time to make the cut. Chuck

anonymous1

16 years ago

how accurate

Chuck, I love this poem and feel the exact same way for the Capital L. It's why I sign my name with the lovelier, more relaxed, lower case l. Also love the sub-theme that I took away: longing for change. Regards, lisa linker

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Wow!

You too?! And sooo yes, the written lower case can be softer, more relaxed, less shrouded in the neediness of the written upper case flourish that craves (perhaps unnecessary) attention. (Probably due to some inkblot of insecurity. I'm just guessing, of course.) Chuck PS: Incidentally, I love your one-eyed dog in the profile pic. So focused.

Grassfield

16 years ago

L

A very layered poem that goes in multiple directions...are we so busy we forget what really matters? yes...sad to say, we are. Enjoyed the read...left me pensive...lonely...adrift in time...washed out memories...Enjoyed!

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Thanx

Glad you liked ... and that you picked up on at least one metaphorical aspect, of which there are probably more than a few. Which of course you imply in your comment. Chuck

Marie-I-Be

16 years ago

hard to figure

Chuck, I can't get past the image of a rigid one-legged lady sitting with that leg outstretched. Or is the other leg hiding somewhere? Yet I love the expression flat-pencil right. And I can't get past my feeling that the capital L is strictly a masculine entity, nothing feminine about it. To be inflexibly disapproving with no inclination toward laughter, this does not sound like a being I would like to get to know better. I don't know why you would want to lie with her/him/it without first a complete image makeover, not only a break. But all that aside, why where ever I stand? I'm unable to make a case for that usage to make sense. Do you mean where I ever stand? Or wherever I stand? Or anywhere I stand? Or just where I stand might have some strength. Or maybe as from where I stand rather than as to .... I think L should get together with 7 and see what comes of it. Hah! They might feel gloriously united and complemented ... or they might feel torturously boxed in. Kudos on your adventurous creativity and your beautiful line spacing. I contemplate your possible thoughts on S, Z, M, K.

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Have now made an ...

alteration that might pass muster. I'll think on 7 ... and S, Z, M, K. Hmmm. Interesting possibilities. Thanx, Chuck PS: As to where might be her other leg, there simply ... isn't any; she never had one even at her beginning (as far as I know, anyway). And as to my lying with her, perhaps it's barbsdad who wants the break. Actually, I'm not very concerned about capital L lying anywhere. She'll, I suspect, continue just being capital L, which responsibility forces upon her certain, ah, rigidities. So the extra step posited here of me (potentially) lying with her never needs to be addressed in the real world. Hah! Hope I'm making sense of sorts. Then again, if I am not, so be it.

Marie-I-Be

16 years ago

Okay, then.

Glad you're through with peg-leg Elle!

loved

16 years ago

i qualify

….perhaps I qualify Being a L Capital, I’m never supine, I’m always fine, Erect that’s it erect all the time Never do I bend… If I’m wrong I stand the other way around, Small though but still erect And Long one lying down, Yet I am erect That’s I Though small bit Yet erect that’s; it

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