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redwing

==

redwing

calls,
where are you, mate?
flower flares predawn; robin
chirps, twitters, trills;
water

burbles,
mutters on its
perpetual journey downslope;
the moon, for now subdued---

                        and 
                        much too distant
                        to hear all this---


hides
at the other
side of a hanging cloud; and
as my heart calms,
as

my
ears widen, gorged
by transcendent sound, long-dampened
sentiments surge
to

surface,
evidence themselves,
and I feel---

                                          astonishingly,
                                          unaccountably---

saddened

==

— barbsdad2003, May 25, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Dear Chuck

Very well written. I love all your descriptions, not sure about the whole meaning, but it read nicely. Rosina xena465
B

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

All ...

agrin here. I suspect the event described, with its (seeming) paradoxical twist, is something pretty much universal among humans. That is, that in unguarded/together moments, an apparently out-of-context feeling can surface. Its secret to manifesting I think involves being relaxed enough and also, more critically, being open to letting feelings flow where they will. And no matter the context environmentally. Or the non-sense of them. There's additionally, I think, an implicit invitation at the heart of this post for metaphor. Something very much intended by this writer, by the way. Glad you like my descriptions. Sometimes a piece of a piece can resonate, its overall meaning being less important. Depends on the reader, of course. And perhaps less so the author. Thanx again, Chuck
Seren

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Chuck

I loved this morning call ... I have tken my own meaning from your words Long-dampened ... that was key word for me it made me think of things repressed and then unaccountably surfacing .... leaving you saddened lovely work as usual love and big hugs JayCee x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
B

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Long-dampened ...

was key for me, too. A moment of synergy with a cooperative/supportive environment allowed, of course, the dampening to withdraw sufficiently to permit the leaking through of a feeling theretofore supressed/repressed. Thanx, Chuck PS: Beautiful profile pic you've got there. Very, very artistic. Beautiful colors. A clever blending. Thought-provoking, mood-provoking.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years ago

arre you sure you are not my long lost brother?

(not the evil one, Alex Machette), the one who shares my eldritch blood. I feel a certain sadness that superlatives escape me to do justice to your astonishingly beautiful work. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]
B

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Uh, Jess, I've ...

been meaning to talk to you about the brother thing. But, alas, so far have been remiss, keeping intact my lively penchant for procrastination. Yours, Chuck
M

Marie-I-Be

16 years ago

symphony

This poem is like a mini captured symphony: beckoning entry, slow but firm rise to a crescendo, steady trail-off. Sweet. I'm imagining that the redwing is a red-winged blackbird. Or could it be a cardinal? They each call distinctively. The flares, twitters, burbles, gorged ... saddened ... everything placed just so. Professionally clean, Chuck.
B

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

Yup

Redwing's of the blackbird stripe. And a wow! to your comment! Thanx much, Chuck
whitetea

whitetea

16 years ago

evocative, really.its all

evocative, really. its all like a determined whisper, a gentle but present voice. you truly have tapped into the collective human spirit. (or living beings in this case)
B

barbsdad2003

16 years ago

I'm sure ...

you have no idea how much I value your input, your sensitivity, your ... Thanx for reading/hearing me so accurately. I think no greater compliment can be bestowed on someone than that of truly hearing/understanding what that person says ... or perhaps is only trying to say. Hugs, Chuck

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