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Mask.

I wish I could.
Could come out.
From behind this mask.

This prison.
Without love.
Without sight.

This old mask can only hide so many things.
It may hide my face.
It may hide my voice.
It may hide my feelings.
But can it hide me?

Can it trap me?
Can it cover me?
Can it stop me?
Stop me from hearing the voices?

The voices that tell me.
Tell me to hurt myself.
To cut myself.
To make myself bleed.
To make myself feel pain.
And misery.
And make me feel forgotten.
Unloved and unhappy.

The voices that try to make me.
They try to form me.
They try and succeed.
Every time.
I have no choice.
I have no voice.
I'm no longer me.
But the girl who hides.
Hides behind that old mask.

That black mask.
The one with tears.
Tears made of blood.
Without a face.
With nothing but pain.
— broken_skye, May 30, 2010

Critiques

Breakinglogic

Breakinglogic

16 years ago

Hey there skye, I see a lot

Hey there skye, I see a lot of similarities with how you write and how rain wrote when she started out here. This is some pretty solid stuff, a good start :) I did notice that many of your lines are prepositional phrases though, offering little advancement in the theme. Like I said, this is a good start, keep up the writing. I am positive you'll develop from good to a great writer in no time :) peace and cheers, logic
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years ago

impressive, very tight and

impressive, very tight and controlled writing, but I think too many rhetorical questions, regain your power by giving answers instead Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years ago

This is so very difficult,

This is so very difficult, painful for me to read. Yet, I too, have had to face my fears sooner or later... and what I learned is that I am loved... The only healing..... Well written, skye, may you write well your answers to your questions. There are many who need healing. Use your art. ~ "Even if I knew the world were to end tomorrow, I would plant an olive tree today."-- Francis of Assisi
S

Silent_Rain

16 years ago

Skye...

Great peom kid... In the thrid stanza, you repeated without love in the second stanza, try putting something else where Love is, it may sound better, you should make the first line into two lines... like, enter between mask and can... GReat write love!!!
S

Silent_Rain

16 years ago

Srry...

:)
S

Silent_Rain

16 years ago

Skye...

Great peom kid... In the thrid stanza, you repeated without love in the second stanza, try putting something else where Love is, it may sound better, you should make the first line into two lines... like, enter between mask and can... GReat write love!!! ~Rain~ There's always arainbow after the rain...
S

Silent_Rain

16 years ago

Skye...

:) srry...

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