Husband

Finally he was subdued,
After his piercing wails and petrifying assaults,
Those lips hurling venomous malice,
Those arms smashing in the door,
Those hands waving scissors, knives at me,
As ten burly police officers.
Filed into my home,
Brandishing batons,
At last the spitting, pacing lunatic was vanquished...

— sharon-rose, Jun 10, 2010

Critiques

scribbler

16 years ago

husband

good portrait of malice.Sounds more a monster than husband......scribbler

sharon-rose

16 years ago

Thanks for your comments

Monster more than husband..

shirley harrison

16 years ago

Great !

This is so wonderful for all who suffer the "violent Hands" i like this and many people think it is normal, to suffer but your poem has spoken and hopefully people will feel less frightened to speak about it! the people who do it are very cowardly! shirley harrison

sharon-rose

16 years ago

Dear Shirley

Thanks so much for your comment. So much of this goes on behind closed doors, at different levels, psychological as well as physical, and at various magnitudes. The more people talk about their own experiences, the more all of us can learn about what to watch out for.

themoonman

16 years ago

Hi Sharon...

Excellent word choices, very descriptive... one small stumble for me, the punctuation, with all the commas it seems to indicate a run on sentence, but then there is a cap at the beginning of each line... doesn't hurt the read though, just something I tend to point out when I see it. It seems this is a true to life poem for you, I hope things are better for you now. Richard

judyanne

16 years ago

i had one of them sharon

perfect description - well done love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

sharon-rose

16 years ago

Thanks for your tips Richard

Thanks for your comments Richard. I don't to pay a huge amount of attention to punctuation, it's an important point. Appreciate it.

sharon-rose

16 years ago

Thanks Judy

Appreciate you reading my poem and your comment is very kind. I describe what I see..

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