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CB

Willows

You faced me with a smile,
Healthy and strong;
The picture I'd paint,
If I were an artist,
And not a grim scribbler;

You wanted a promise;
I remember the pressure of it
Storming my shore, and dying
Against my wall;
No Achilles to save the day;

The rainy afternoons we spent
Tearing each other apart;
The nights we sculpted perfection;
And the mornings, when love actually came,
Like dusty sunlight on an antique frame~
— Chris B, Jun 12, 2010

Critiques

R

raj

16 years ago

Nicely sculpted

wonderfully sculpted write...a nice read... my favourite lines ofcourse were And the mornings, when love actually came, Like dusty sunlight on an antique frame~ oh so nice Chris... warmly...raj (sublime_ocean)..
R

raskin

16 years ago

I agree great line,

I agree great line, metaphor. Dusty sunlight is filtered not bright, antique frame is cloudy, aged, dinged up. Very nice metaphor given the tone of the poem. raskin
judyanne

judyanne

16 years ago

lovely write chris

i agree with the above on favourite lines great descriptive metaphor lol judy http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
SH

shirley harrison

16 years ago

Wow

Just beautiful! shirley harrison
Seren

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Chris B

Who knew when I caught up with you today ? I would find this Gem and it is a wonderful poem .... I will be keeping an eye out for more from your pen ... i loved what I found here love JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

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