barbsdad2003

Jul 10, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I so miss

==

I
so
miss

the bats
come out                 at dusk
to hunt after

I
bed;

though my
wife tells me           about them
next day---

how many
                      their fluttery flights
                      profiling
                      against gray sky
and
how black
                       their arch-winged
                                   bodies

and                            for her
their near brushes
on flybys

-

I can
                   only
                                     imagine

==

— barbsdad2003, Jul 10, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

Brilliant Chuck

They say bats are flying rats!!! I'm just glad that my pet rat Zak doesn't fly, he causes enough mischief. I love bats too; they’re quite beautiful if only more people took a really good look at them with their cute little fingers and fabulous wings. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

Ah! if only ...

rats could fly. How interesting that would be! If I see one aflyin', I'll be the first to let you know ... probably. Thanx. Chuck PS: I do think rats, though, must alter their (usually chubby) shapes to accommodate airborneness. Next time I see one, I'll suggest he/she get to work on it. As soon as possible. I can't wait around forever ... to see the result(s).

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

miss

I give up !I know the extreme form has an intent,but I can't fathom it.I'll come back later with another frame of mind......scribbler

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

Thanx ...

for lookin'. Frames of minds're wonderful, aren't they? What countless choices we have in that/those regard/-s. If you were to take a gander at poetry selections on library shelves, you'd see quite a surprising bit of it written in similar style/format to what I've posted here. So in summary, this write isn't (all that) extreme. Really. Thanx again, Chuck

whitetea

15 years 11 months ago

I love watching the drift of

I love watching the drift of your shaped poem tumble to each line. You have a very deep appreciation for nature in all its lifeforms. You are the first I have heard of to have this kind of admiration for bats and when they take flight, its unique. Wonderful poem chuck

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

Always ...

good to see you. And thanx. Tumble and drift are perfect words for how this piece can be read. Alternate routes through this minor "maze" are available to the reader. And of course I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Your wisdom continues in evidence. Hugs, Chuck

Marie-I-Be

15 years 11 months ago

bats

Isn't this your second or third submission of an eye-exercise format such as this one? The style is delightful. It could be your signature poetry fashion! I love bats. I think they are beautifully exquisite. Their adorable faces, their fluttery wings, their quick-change darting flight patterns similar to those of swallows, and even their distinctive guano fragrance endear them to me. And I appreciate that they like to reduce the mosquito population! That some people habitually capture them, basket them, and boil and eat them disturbs me. I've seen bats in interesting natural zoos in several countries, seen them dangling from trees in the wild, observed them up close while they were sleeping and clinging to man-made structures, seen them traveling about in cave habitats on a couple of Caribbean islands, and I've seen them gracing the suburban backyard. On occasion I've even heard their excited little voices mid-flight. And what a variety of them there are! Very special creatures. Chuck, maybe sometime you should try to stay up later before bedding down for the night so you can relax in an outdoor chair and enjoy the spectacular show!

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

I think ...

over time I've posted more than three, actually. Thanx for confirming my choice of style. This particular format/style/whatever is my favorite to write. And favorite to read, by the way. Huh! You know, it hadn't occurred to me to stay up later. I'll have to think on that. So far I've been relying on my wife to report their activities. And as to bats: I absolutely love them. The thought of other humans making food of them I find abhorrent. Hugs, Chuck

Marie-I-Be

15 years 11 months ago

If I ...

... recall correctly, I think you'd told me you had written several more in a style similar to this but that you were reserving them in the tank, so to speak. I hope you go through your earlier writes on hold and find more to post in this pleasing/delighting format ... and that you mine your brain for new such golds!

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

Thanx ...

for your vote of confidence. Quite encouraging, motivating. I do have quite a few similars waiting, though I expect to write more in this vein/style in future. (It's just too much fun for me.) Mining my brain has to be accomplished with care, I think, lest it stresses that organ overmuch. But I suppose I can. We shall see. Hugs, Chuck

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Nice formatting

I really liked your verse here and the way you made it sway here and there. Word use was great also. Great job and have to catch up with your writes soon. Peace and love Mona

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

Glad ...

you noticed the formatting ... with (if I may be so bold, I think appropriate) approval. This is a sampling of my favorite(st) way to sculpt poetry, frankly. It carries with it the most fun ... and most satisfaction. For the author, I mean. And hopefully too for the reader. Thanx, Chuck

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Yes and I may give it a try too some day:) Good job Barbsdad

TIME well spent is TIME well lived

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