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Playdate

Why is the grass greener in your back yard

Playing is more fun when your around

I close my eyes and I am there

Close yours too and join me if you dare

 

Why is your candy sweeter than mine

Spare me one lick of your juicy pop

Then maybe I can figure out the secret ingredient

Then maybe I can win your heart

 

Why do your flowers aroma hold all the grace

Perfect petals, perfectly placed

Bring me pretty colors, just a few, not a lot 

He loves me, he loves me not

 

Why is your laugh contagious?

Is it the happiness you bring to others

Or maybe it's your magic powers

Either way I’m laughing giggles right on que, right with you

 

Sometimes I feel like you are going to disappear

Make it as though you were never here

Erase each footprint you left behind

Fly away, just to fly

 

Well I can be free, free like you

Give me a chance and I will fly to you

If you run, I’ll follow and I’ll keep up too

Either way, if you leave, I’m coming with you

 

Have you noticed a pattern here

Maybe I’ve been too subtle my dear

What it is that I am trying to translate to you

Is that you are my love, and in following that logic, I love you


— stavroula, Jul 13, 2010

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

P

poewriter58

15 years 11 months ago

Welcome

To Neo Poet. Why does your flowers etc why do your flowers ------------------------------- If you run I'll fallow. I think you meant follow as the word fallow means something completely different ------------------------------------------------------- What it is that I am trying to translate to you elongated and wordy sentence perhaps something like what I'm trying to translate( although a simple say would work here) I saw no indication of how in depth you wanted feedback so I took it as "you wanted the raw truth" You have some very nice lines in this poem and your message is clear just a little tweaking perhaps would take it up a notch or two Chrys
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Welcome back gal

Just where have you been hiding at? I love this piece of yours and am so happy to see your happy face back onsite again Stav. I especially love this part of your piece here: Erase each footprint you left behind Fly away, just to fly Well I can be free, free like you Give me a chance and I will fly to you Just want to say I really enjoyed this one, flow and all. And yes as our Poe says a little bit of tweaking and you'll be squeaking and please don't stay away so long next time gal. Love at ya Mona xoxoxo
Z

ziggy

15 years 11 months ago

hi there hello again good to

hi there hello again good to see your post very nice and some good advice to boot ill have to return again ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
R

raj

15 years 11 months ago

Stavroula..

hello!! i chanced upon your write for the first time...what struck me most after going through your write is the freshness with which you have touched upon the phenomenon of the mystery of attraction...the chemistry of true love....very well expressed ...i will be looking forward to read more of yours... warmly...raj (sublime_ocean)...

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