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Sep 05, 2012
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the bit and trod of the savage petunia
pinch of gloss
smidge of sparkle
tongue lubricantly worn
tits tissued
shoes a-bladed
spread cheeks vaselined
rubbers tallied
picture kissed
prelude to a moonlight glow
she is called Kiko
to the tourists
that pay
she is called Lola
L-O-L-A
Lola
to the sailors
that get it
any night at port
every dollar spent
is a story untold
hell...
would you?
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
12 years 9 months ago
what a bloody brilliant title! You've got a knack for that,
and it's an important one.
So glad to see you posting again.
Narrative and imagery brave and effective. I question the last two lines. It could be said more elegantly or even deleted. Presuming the
"L-O-L-A
Lola"
refers to "The Kinks" song about a transvestite, the reference may be lost to many, perhaps you could infer it in the text?