Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 13, 2016
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
“Listen”
Waiting quietly, drifting,
Stillness found;
Everything on pause,
Then spring;
Bare silhouettes,
Tangled bones drifting,
As the rolling river flows;
Tame, relaxed,
Listen!
Vicky Ann Chai-Brocato
VaV-VOOM!
”2006”
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This came to me while my husband and I were having some alone time and I had to take a break for about 15-20 mins. These words flowed out, and on to the page; then I returned to my husband. Enjoy and tell me what you think? VaV-VOOM!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Geezer
9 years 8 months ago
I'm not even...
going to ask about what you were doing that you needed 15-20 break time! LOL
Seriously, I enjoyed this. Your language and title are good and I thought that it managed to get the feel of "break-time" although I was bit confused about the "spring" in the middle. Welcome to Neo! ~ Geezer
VaVVOOM
9 years 8 months ago
Reply
Thank you Geezer; there just is nothing better then a good old "break-time". Glad you enjoy it, and it is great to be here. VaV-VOOM!