“ME”

What we once thought was ours,
Was not; We carried it anyway,
Even when the pain was great.

We thought we could not take it anymore,
We did; Time went on and on,
Then we found ourselves, hard, cold, and ugly.

We could not even look at ourselves
without a deep sick feeling inside;
With that sick feeling…we just carried on,
We could not, would not let that sickness go.

Then one day we just had to stop,
And there, at the water’s edge
We saw it? In the mirror on the water,
We saw what that sickness really was;

It was me all along.
There were no others.
Only “Me!”

Vicky Ann Chai-Brocato
VaV-VOOM!
“1996”

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Most of my earlier poems came to me at times filled with confusion, pain, love, and yes, some hate within my heart. Wounded, with my self-confidence nonexistence, a decision was made from all that are within me to live not die. As I prepared to fight for my life, I felt the words begin to flow, as the poetry came, I wrote.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Richard Bach

Comments

Sparrow

9 years 8 months ago

Vicky

Firstly welcome to Neopoet and we hope that your stay with us will be a good one..
The theme of this one was good and I had just resubmitted "Reflection" one from my records, the feelings catch up with us as we sit alone lol.
As to the correct form we have teachers here that will help with that.
I can only see that the lines could be more balanced but let's wait for the others, Meanwhile you take care and keep writing,
Yours Ian.T (Sparrow-Yenti)

VaVVOOM

9 years 8 months ago

"Me"

Thank you Sparrow-Yenti, I always need all the help I can get. Write On! VaV-VOOM!

lovedly

9 years 8 months ago

and now you are

only you
and see how so many
will follow you

Ian has led the poetic crew
I am now number two
care to read me too
not a stereo typed poet
in me will find you
thats true
but my poetry is also loved too

VaVVOOM

9 years 8 months ago

Reply

Thank you so much Lovedly, It’s great to be here. VaV-VOOM!