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Mar 05, 2023
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110 Percent
When your back is against the wall
When you stumble and then you fall
When you're told you will always fail
When "You can't" gets rather stale
When the world itself is against you
When crying out in pain is all you can do
You still have to answer your heart's call
Whether you've got to run, walk, or crawl
When you aren't born with a silver spoon
When you feel you have the poor man's doom
On past failures you can't sit and lament
Success is accomplished by giving 110 Percent
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
2 years 4 months ago
I can't disagree...
with anything you have said here.
Your title is good, the theme is equally so.
Your language use is plain and easy to understand
I don't see that big, fancy words would be of any use
and wouldn't recommend changing anything. It stands on its own.
Geezer.
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Shelby Pryor
2 years 4 months ago
Geezer
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it!
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 4 months ago
I can’t disagree either
You just got try your best. Even when you do absurd things are gonna try and slow you down. Wisdom is knowing the difference between where your 110% is best applied.
Tim
Shelby Pryor
2 years 4 months ago
Rosewood Apothecary
Exactly! Well said. Thank you so much!
Seren
2 years 4 months ago
Dear Shelby
Sometimes life and the people around us doubt us but never ever stop trying because you don't know what a win is until you've failed spectacularly.
Well done.
Kind regards Seren
Shelby Pryor
2 years 4 months ago
Serene
Exactly!!! I always say the harder the climb the better the story! Thank you so much!
Jackweb
2 years 4 months ago
Good rhyming scheme
I liked the use of aabb. That alone makes it sound musical and the final cadences.
Nice one!
.
Shelby Pryor
2 years 4 months ago
Jackweb
Thank you! To be honest I just started with the first line and this is what came of it! Thanks again!
Jackweb
2 years 4 months ago
You're welcome
A single line stirs a chain reaction and there, poetry is born!
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