Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Sep 30, 2019
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
$ 80,000 Dollar Machine
found to be idle
a sold out recycle,
80,000 dollar machine
want to take over
like a George Orwell union
plagued for momernts to pledge
captivated by a smile
take your picture taking over
moment regarding their puzzle
Stop & Shop
gentle with laughter stare to unfold it together...
extreme cases of spills occur,
moments gone by...
beyond
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
5 years 8 months ago
I don't know...
where this is supposed to be going. After reading and re-reading over and over, I'm thinking that maybe this $80,000 machine is a security system that keeps an eye on the aisles for insurance purposes?
I had great difficulty in deciding how to interpret this one. If you want people to comment/critique your work, you must make a clear effort to connect the work to the reader. ~ Geezer.
.
chevyvent
5 years 8 months ago
Thanks you have the right idea
very nice interpretation...?
Geezer
5 years 8 months ago
I'm not sure...
that many readers wish to work so hard to unravel the meaning of a poem. Try reading your work as though you have no clue as to what it means, then try making an obvious reference to something familiar to the readers. ~ Geezer.
.