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Rula
Rula
Aug 01, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal): The Horror Story

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The Abandoned Child (Horror Story WS)

Alone in the park
I'm left alone
Soon wears the dark
I'm all alone
Not a spark of hope
I'm still alone
With the dreadful bark
Some fears die
Others grow
Alone

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Many stories go around about moms who abandon their children...Alas!! I thought the repetition of word alone to bring a kind of dreadful feeling. What does everyone else think :)

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

Rula

Rula

9 years 11 months ago

I know

horror stories are usually tend to be more effective when a bit lengthy. I thought short can be sometimes effective though.

Geezer

Geezer

9 years 11 months ago

I was...

prepared to find more when I hit read more and at first was disappointed. Then I read it again and found that it left much to the imagination and what I could imagine was more horrible that what you had written! That, I think is the key to writing this horror-story, stirring the mind of the reader to reveal all the horrible things that might have happened. Well done! ~ Gee

Rula

Rula

9 years 11 months ago

Thank you Gee

You got my intention!!
I'm glad to know it worked well with you.
You made my day!!
Thank you

Sparrow

Sparrow

9 years 11 months ago

Rula

So much loneliness in so few words, I have just put on a piece from my thoughts on the "Great Bears Wisdom" I wrote a few years ago as a complete set of the Wisdom.
Called "Walk Alone"
Yours is sweet and I know that you will never be alone, so I worry not..
Yours Ian..

wesley snow

wesley snow

9 years 11 months ago

I agree with Gee

It's what's between the lines... the obvious fears... that is the horror story.
I might have found a more childlike way to say the last line. The story to me was about a child, but the last line is very adult.

Rula

Rula

9 years 10 months ago

I agree sir

About the last line. I didn't like it either.
Hope it reads better now