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About Fasting
A friend asked me about fasting,
thus this conversation is born.
"Why leave your belly empty
when there's enough food
for you and me?
" A month of fasting
is nothing compared
to the years of starving,
felt by one caged
in poverty."
"Where lies the need
to feel other's sufferings?
Surely that's madness indeed."
"It is not insane
to embrace compassion,
with nothing lost, much to gain.
Truly, selfishness is poison.
Fasting is not just to refrain
from eating and drinking.
It is to practice patience,
tolerance and cleansing
one's action from sinning.
It is to support humanity
with graceful kindness.
The strong aiding the needy
in the spirit of togetherness.
When its time to end a day's fasting,
strangers gather to feast as equals.
The bond between them strengthening
in their devotion to the religion."
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Robert Melliard
11 years ago
Wise
Wise words indeed, and simply and clearly expressed. I wish I could be as altruistic as this, but I grew up as practically an only child because my brother was much older than me, so I learnt to be rather selfish I'm afraid, and however hard I try it's very difficult to change.
Best wishes,
Robert.
alidzain
11 years ago
Robert
You will change the moment you find love because to love someone is to share your heart, your time, your dream and your commitment. Everyone wants to be loved and the only way to gain it is b offering love itself. Therein itself
lies selflessness. Thanks for the visit and the comment.
Alid
Rula
11 years ago
Khalid
You have perfectly captured the spirit of Ramadan with your words !!
I wished to find another way to show the conversation without using "I/he said" used alternatively and it could only be done with the advanced format if you can use the italics for one and non italic for the other.
I especially liked the second stanza.
A month of fasting
is nothing compared
to the years of starving,
felt by one caged
in poverty
and
When its time to end a day's fasting,
strangers gather to feast as equals.
the bond between them strengthening
in their devotion to the religion
Thanks for sharing !
alidzain
11 years ago
That's what I wanted to do, Rula
I've been asked about fasting by non-muslims many times. In turn it gives me the idea for this poem. Wil do the edits later. Right now I'll be preparing for Subuh prayer before I sleep. A little tired after staying up late, looking after mum. Pray for me, sister, that I will have the strength to continue to care for her in her old age. I, myself, are not feeling well of late.
Alid
Rula
11 years ago
May Allah
be with both of you dear brother.
alidzain
11 years ago
Shukran, Rula
Tell me, what do you think about the edited version. Just trying to follow your suggestion.
Alid
Rula
11 years ago
You can still make benefit
from the stanza breaks, and remove the double space.