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Geremia
Geremia
Jul 22, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

ABOUT INCANTATIONS

ABOUT INCANTATIONS

you are magic
enchantment.
you sing your words
modulate your love
murmuring melancholy
in minor key
and golden tongue

you have touched
my very meaning
and brought my soul
to a near dying
with your deceit and lying.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Comments

judyanne

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

hi joe

one typo
'in minor kry' i presume you mean 'key'?

imo
i'd lose the 'and' in 'and modulate your love'

also imho
i like 'about incantations' rather than 'the power of enchantment' as the title - i think the use of 'enchantment' so close to the beginning of the poem, after reading it in the title just a little offputting - lol just me...

a powerful write as usual from you joe - love the finish
love judy xxx

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

Joe

Good write and I could never see the point of those rituals, probably to Brainwash those that listened.
I am so glad I had an open mind in other directions lol.
Keep them coming, but watch out form the Spanish inquisition..
Yours Ian.T

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

Joe

Please advise there are three men dressed as Cardinals at the door, do I treat them like Jehovah's witnesses or do I run out the back door and away, Yours Ian.T????????