above the law

If the bees can’t sting
Within their wax
How can they attack outside?
If a snake can’t swallow a dead rat
What about a flying bat?
The lion has shed tears
When a rabbit intruded his territory.

A tilapia had been drank off the ocean
And the sharks are desperate
The hawk has taken away the food
From the eagle and flew freely.

The throne had been invaded by unknown slave
The crown was snatched by the air
A tongue had been bitten by the teeth
When there was food in the mouth
How can they protect us
If the mace and the laws can’t be guarded
There is a crack on the wall.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: this poem has portray the corruptions in the country,the contradiction within the three whole arms of government and it seems some people has immunity to commit crime and walk freely while others are just the experiment to the law.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , abuja

Favorite Poets: Any good poet of my likening

Comments

Geezer

7 years 2 months ago

Simon...

I think it might be helpful if you added a few words on what the subject is about. ~ Geezer.
.

Simon

7 years 2 months ago

thank you Geezer

precisely it's about corruption in the country,though i just added up the themes.

Chiori

7 years 2 months ago

its a good poem anyway but

its a good poem anyway but the theme is hidden i felt little of it in the fifth line of the third stanza.

Simon

7 years 2 months ago

THANKS

though the theme of this poem has just been added up, well it's about corruption in the country, in the arms of government to be precise

Eumolpus

7 years 2 months ago

your poem

I don't see enough support of the political allegory. Soyinka and the other engaged poets from the region do create allegories to express their rage, but there is a consistency of image. Like the famous poem " Conversation at Night with a Cockroach"
The images are too abstract to relate to the political and corruption, such as the lion shedding tears when a rabbit enters his space...?
Many of us poets are too concerned with being considered over simplistic so we go in the opposite direction and get too far into an abstraction. I think you can find the balance, but not yet for me in this work.

Simon

7 years 2 months ago

Eumolpus

The lion has shed tears when the rabbit intruded his territory,means the contradiction in the national assembly when thugs entered their chamber toke the mace. even though securities were there but none try stopping them and they got away with it.

Simon

7 years 2 months ago