Acceptance

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively uses the metaphor of weather to convey the experience of chronic pain. The comparison between the temporary nature of rain and the unending experience of chronic pain is particularly poignant. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme to enhance its musicality and flow.

The line "Vanish can't remove" is somewhat unclear. If "Vanish" is intended to be a product reference, it may not be universally understood by all readers. It might be more effective to use a more general term or phrase to convey the idea of a stain that can't be removed.

The repetition of "I can accept the rain" at the beginning and end of the poem is effective in reinforcing the main theme. However, the final stanza could be reworked to provide a more impactful conclusion. For example, the line "When the sun, Comes out again" could be expanded upon to reflect the longing for relief from chronic pain.

The poem might also benefit from more detailed imagery. While the weather metaphor is effective, adding more specific and vivid descriptions could enhance the emotional impact of the poem. For example, describing the sensation of the rain or the appearance of the sun could make the metaphor more engaging for the reader.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates the experience of chronic pain through the use of metaphor. With some revisions to improve clarity, rhythm, and imagery, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

what you mean. I am a victim of chronic pain myself;
especially in the presence of a storm.
I always appreciate the sun that much more, when it comes out.

I think you captured the mood exactly. The description of the "weight that can't be lifted", for instance, might even be metaphorical, and mean something else entirely.
Short lines and no rhyme, make it seem urgent, yet bearable until of the passing of the storm. ~ Geez.
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I was going to suggest that most of the commas are unneccesary, but actually it might be better without any punctuation - like the pain, perhaps.

Hello, Tigger,
"...a storm without end..." I'm so sorry for your continued pain. There is a smooth comparison to rain and storms here that flows naturally. Nice theme for the contest. I agree with omitting all the punctuation, and I'd even switch to all lowercase, except for "I" of course.
Thank you,
L

Your poem reflects pain in a very visual way.
Liked the poem.