Aching

What of this heart
once broken, now
too heavy with fear
to fly?

It is less of what
your eyes promise
as they embrace me
from across the room

and more in the way
they make me
tremble

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Poets Hand

2 years 5 months ago

Dear Aching

The first verse is so well put and succinct that it is enough to make the reader alert to the pain of loss and fear of new commitment. The remainder of the poem says here I am like a trembling faun about to take first steps.

Very well thought out poem, incredibly raw and yet with the promise of new life.

Poets Hand
Hannah

Lavender

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you...

for reading and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate your generous comments!
L

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

Title

I saw the title. I saw you were the author and I already knew how good this was going to be. In fact, you may make the occasional reader tremble with this one.

Tim

Lavender

2 years 5 months ago

Hello, Tim,

Thank you for reading...as always, your thoughts mean a lot to me.
L

Seren

2 years 5 months ago

Lavender

I have nothing to say critque wise. There is nothing to correct.

This is pure poetry, written from that place inside we hide our secrets. Beautifully done.

Brava!

Kindest Regards Jayne x

Lavender

2 years 5 months ago

Hello, Jayne,

I appreciate your kind words! Good to see you!
L

Geezer

2 years 5 months ago

I feel...

as though I have intruded upon a private moment, between you and another. One of those times when you see two people and for them, there is no one else for a hundred miles around, and you know... It may not be right, and it will never happen,
or they have just discovered each other. But you know. This is one of those times. ~ Geez.
.