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Dec 09, 2014
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Acquiesce
The question wasn't about love.
I merely asked if you could live with me;
this me that I am now;
this person that I have become.
Your response stood between us,
a schoolyard bully clenching its fists
just daring me to make a response.
I gazed at the ring on my finger,
took recollection of my vows.
I slid 20 years off for a closer look.
It was then that I realized it was broken;
that this ring couldn't hold love anymore
for it had a rather large hole in it.
I slid the ring back on
and quietly retreated to the couch
where you joined me and we watched television.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Esker
10 years 7 months ago
commentary on the state of "affairs"
seeking we
for the ring to
bind
to bold
enhance
and hold
faulted
like a texture
like a facet
each time broken
becomes more
brighter
and shatters
too the light
Thank You!
eightmenout
10 years 7 months ago
symbols
symbols
words and metal
held in our eyes and in our ears
so our hearts
can be reminded how to feel
is it the moment we miss
or the moment that we just missed?
brittle light
10 years 7 months ago
This is the Scottwriter I
This is the Scottwriter I recall . simple, straight forward, flavored with bits of irony, and wit
and finales with a strikingly cool anti-climatic twist.
this flavor is a particular favorite of mine.
but I do appreciate that your palate is broader than my narrow taste zone.
just sayin'.. I like this piece, a lot!
eightmenout
10 years 7 months ago
Thanks Al
Appreciate you stopping by. I have been working on some different forms as of late and feel like it has put me in a funk. I wanted to get back to my "grass roots" with this one. Sounds like I was able to do that.
Thanks,