Aetna medicare advantra representative...

informed me reassuringly,
(albeit surprisingly) enough
the insurance company
would pay the entire bill
and pay the wife
a handsome insurance premium
if my sixty seven year old body failed to wake,
but the physical application
meaning implementation
and point of contact,
she forewarned strong pain medications,
primarily opioids used for severe,
short-term, or cancer-related pain,
often requiring a doctor's prescription
due to risks of addiction, tolerance,
and respiratory issues,
which key examples
include fentanyl, morphine,
oxycodone (OxyContin),
hydromorphone (Dilaudid),
hydrocodone (Vicodin), and methadone
might not be totally effective,
which crude tools
of the inchoate trade might hurt a bit,
so when the time came,
the doctors encouraged me to be chill
as a team of neurosurgeons
gathered in a huddle
while a motley array
of camera crews
and media hounds just outside the door
appeared tentative and a bit apprehensive
as medical practitioners prepared me
for a revolutionary procedure
yet, a twinge coursed thru these lovely bones
after the chief introduced himself
cuz he sported oddly enough
a name-tag that spelled the first
and surname Victor Frankenstein
while one hunched back attendant
psychosurgeon extraordinaire
affected by kyphosis
a forward curvature
of the back bones (vertebrae)
in the upper back area,
giving an abnormally rounded
or humpback appearance
sometimes known as roundback
or a dowager's hump
which shifted from side to side
videlicet independent volition of itself
he asked to be called Igor
and subsequently he would proceed
while standing atop a stool to drill
into my numbskull
after the anesthesiologist
vouchsafed my constant querying
ensured yours truly (me)
would be rendered completely unconscious
and quickly if not instantaneously
become to all appearances
immediately stable and still
if one observer did not know otherwise
he/she would think
my body to be in a state of rigor mortis
after common agents provocateur
to all intents and purposes
could serve in a horror movie
reassured me as well as possible
deathlike stillness would enshroud me
after they applied a tranquilizing ,
including sedatives, such as anxiolytic,
calmative, and depressant
but not limited to these agents
used to reduce anxiety, tension,
or produce a calming effect,
thus I passively let him buzzfeed me
courtesy intravenous drugs
like propofol, opioids for pain,
and when necessary inhalation gases,
yet for specific cases,
which would not apply to myself
nor be applicable,
since I would be the first candidate
to undergo an entire brain replacement
unlike excision of a brain tumor
commonly referred to
as an intracranial tumor,
cranial neoplasm,
or abnormal brain growth,
representing any mass of cancerous
or non-cancerous cells in the brain
thus since absolute zero tumor resections
near functional areas needed removal
would be a moot point,
hence well schooled specialists
would not be applicable
and out of their elements of style
since I volunteered to be a guinea pig
for the full monty,
but just for your information
awake craniotomy with local anesthesia
and light sedation
used to allow brain mapping
which undiscovered territory
would be reason to allocate money
intended for exploring dark shadows
within the outer limits of the twilight zone
between the left and right ear of this bard.